faith, freedom, food

Tag: #write

For My Sister on Your Birthday

For My Sister on Your Birthday

My Sweet, special sister, 18 never looked so beautiful. My sweet pea, you have such a fiercely loving heart. You have always had this beautiful compassion for people that translates to the way you interact with people. I have watched you feel so deeply and […]

A Morning with my Best Friend

A Morning with my Best Friend

Morning. Not stupid early, but not late morning, it’s 8:30am and your eyelids open after a solid, undisturbed 8 hour sleep. You smile to yourself, feeling that euphoric, passionate, life-is-good-because-God-is-good emotion that translates to excitement to spend time with Jesus. You know He’s going to […]

Trusting in the "Delay"

Trusting in the "Delay"

Much of today’s musings are inspired by a wonderful message preached by Pastor Mike Rutledge  
at Risen City church yesterday, where Jesus met me in my own worries, stress, and anxieties and revealed newness to me as His Spirit does, starting when I so loudly heard His voice that it was deafening, above all and any other sound: “I have promises I’m in the middle of working out.”
Now, to get very real here, when I say I so loudly heard His voice, I don’t mean I heard an audible-to-the-ears sound. I mean His Spirit, unlike mine, but that I could physically feel the presence of, as well as spiritually, convicted my heart of this matter to the point that I felt I couldn’t stand. I sat to pray and as I did I only heard more from Jesus, who promises His Spirit is no different from the living Jesus, whose presence is palpable and who promises to show up where two or more call on His name with genuine hearts.
Gently I received the peace of Truths I did not deserve to hear. About what He is in the middle of doing, in His timing. That when I feel like something has been “missed out” on, Jesus never missed it. That very thought of Him “missing” or “forgetting about” something part of His creation is laughable!
Screen Shot 2018-09-03 at 1.34.11 PM.png
Healing and miracles and even more simply clarity don’t always look the way we think we want them to. If you have ever been swayed from reaching out to the Creator of the Universe because you feel like “He hasn’t done anything for you,” a good place to start would be asking yourself what gave you the right to take such a position of deserving.
The Christian faith is about believing that Jesus came when He didn’t have to to suffer in this life and death on the cross because He loved us. To pay the penalty that should have been ours. In His perfection, He suffered the penalty for sin, and, in being God, He owes us absolutely no promises, and no miracles. And yet, because of the very nature of our gracious God, promises and miracles He chooses to bestow.
So after receiving from Him a little nudge that, No, He hadn’t forgotten about xyz, He was working it out in His timing and all I needed to do was give Him space and trust Him, I experienced weight rising off my shoulders as I scribbled down the prayers and promises.
And after hearing from the Spirit, Mike delivered the message on his heart for the church about the waiting periods in our life, how we often question them, and how, really, they’re such a part of the healing. In fact, they are the healing.
Maybe God is in the middle of completing your testimony because His plan for someone else is to learn from some of your stories.
Maybe He’s about to initiate change that wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for the trial.
But here’s the maybe not: the definitely not: Since He’s God of the universe, He has not forgotten about xyz, kicked it/you aside, or grumbled, “ah, well, they missed their chance.”
Frankly: God and His Kingdom came much before you, and you were created to submit to Him for a greater purpose. Not to pose of Him that He submits to you. 
He only asks of us that we trust Him, engage in relationship with Him, and follow Him.
It’s the only life to live!

UPDATE: Excitable Hellos, Tearful Goodbye, Seasons Changing

UPDATE: Excitable Hellos, Tearful Goodbye, Seasons Changing

Hello Friends!! Long time no blog. I have missed sitting to write. How I feel my soul has been needing to sit and let the words flow in pen and paper. Or, more accurately, finger tip and keyboard. And, friends, this song share is my […]

Flexibility Journey

If I had a bucket list of things I wanted to accomplish, something that would be at the top of it is becoming more flexible. I got this tattoo that says “dance” two years ago. While, looking back, I don’t think I’d get it again, […]

A God of UNComfort Zones

A God of UNComfort Zones

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Biblical merit for not being in “comfort” zones.
What is “comfort?”
The Word says that HE is my comfort (Jeremiah 8:18). So my ideal “comfort zone” is at His feet, in His arms, walking with Jesus. Equally, this means that we are often out of contrived and worldly “comfort” zones; the things that give temporary pleasure but don’t benefit our neighbours or His Kingdom; the things we may be conditioned to turn to in times of struggle or pain that “feel good,” but don’t have any Truth or power to actually help us or anyone.
So, my TRUE COMFORTER will take me out of FAKE COMFORT ZONES (I can list some of mine in my head right now– can you list yours?) and it might “feel” icky and uncomfortable; but since He’s the True Comforter, it will ALWAYS be good and right.
Maybe that is in the form of ridding rules and restrictions that you unhealthily have around areas of your life. They are habits that feel so comfortable; but on the basis of what truth? And who are they actually helping?
Maybe that is the form of less selfishness and more selflessness– going out of your way for other people; working with the Spirit of God to see those around you who need love, positivity, and hope.
Maybe that is in the form of asking questions, picking up your Bible, or praying. Checking out a church, or calling up an old friend.
Whatever it is, it starts with Him, in prayer and thought. He answers prayers, and He is with you in the uncomfortable change, ALWAYS. It is so often the things that seem scariest in life that end up being the things that He uses to save and redeem.
After I gave up food rules after years of stubborn eating disorders, I wrote this post
to put some words to the amazing process that Jesus had brought me through in healing. It didn’t come from striving. It was not my fault that I had these brutal mental illnesses, nor was it my choice to heal from them. It was, however, my choice to spend more time in the Word of God and with His Spirit– the Spirit that healed me.
Is Jesus calling your name and softening your heart to follow Him to a place that feels uncomfortable, and you just need to trust Him? 

What Is Exhaustion Without Purpose?

What Is Exhaustion Without Purpose?

All I can think about right now is hitting my pillow. I hate sounding dramatic, but my eyelids are so heavy and my whole body is exhausted from not stopping all day. And that could easily be for nothing. I could easily work this body […]

When Will I Learn?

When Will I Learn?

…that life is all about the “little moments?” Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.” I have written about it countless times. And I think about it all the time. But sometimes, in the heat of a moment, it doesn’t […]

A Prayer for Unchanging Desire

A Prayer for Unchanging Desire

Today was the grand opening of the cafe/kitchen I work at’s second location ever. And it was so exciting to be a part of.
Screen Shot 2018-07-09 at 8.06.35 PM
While my job there was relatively the same as it is at our first location, there was something– I would say human-naturedly– exciting about working in the new space. Each and every one of my greetings to customers was cheery and considerate, and I had extra pep in my step and motivation.
While a part of this was probably due to my own excitement/the novelty of the new store, I am very aware that another part is due to my Saviour Jesus.
This morning, after praying for my friend Jacqueline, who is working as a kids’ Bible instructor this summer, I felt a pang of conviction. Day by day, I had been living recently a bit routinely, choosing to ignore the Kingdom of Heaven that God wants to come on earth. Choosing to ignore His voice and just live the work life.
Man, what a sad life that is! It blows my mind how easily the devil can trick our minds into thinking that exhaustedly working just to make money and participate in society is the way of life. I know that it isn’t.Recently, one of my dear friends asked me about the difference between being a light of Christ, and being a kind, respectful person. Sometimes I feel like I just live like everyone else, she said, But I want to be His light.
How normal!
The difference, I told her, is HIM.
When the Holy Spirit dwells in a person, He does the work. He truly does. And, when after I had prayed for Jacqueline and felt this tingling of, “I should be doing church/Bible work, not *just serving food,*” I was convicted when I prayed how equally important every sort of job is when it is given to Christ. Today I encountered hundreds of different people, and rather than just being a bright spot, I asked Jesus for the grace, humility, and discernment that only His Spirit could accomplish. And I had a drastically different day than I might have if I chose to ignore Him.Screen Shot 2018-07-09 at 8.07.25 PM
Lord, birth a me a stronger DESIRE than ever for YOU. May I LONG to be with You, to serve you, and to know You more. Lord, help me to live a life of prayer– of constantly talking to You, trusting and believing that You ARE every good thing, and that all Your plans are in stone and for good. Lord, would I lean on You every single day to be a servant and Your Spirit’s light. Would I know my worth in You, and the ways you want to use me in individuals’ lives. I pray all this in Your Son’s name. Amen. 

UPDATE: Most Patriotic Weekend Ever, Healing, Blog Burnout?

UPDATE: Most Patriotic Weekend Ever, Healing, Blog Burnout?

My uncle takes the most amazing photos of wildlife I’ve ever seen. He has travelled to remote places just to capture rare birds from behind his lens. They could certainly be sold for hundreds of dollars with the sort of quality they possess. When I […]