faith, freedom, food

Tag: #healing

Childhood Chicken Fried Rice

Childhood Chicken Fried Rice

Raise your hand if you were a picky eater as a kid. (I’m raising my hand). I was the PICKIEST of the picky. I could count the number of foods I was happy eating on both hands (well, both hands if you’ll allow me to […]

My Ear Piercing Disaster, Redeemed.

My Ear Piercing Disaster, Redeemed.

Yup. I’m a 21 year old Canadian female and only just recently got my ears pierced. And then… un-pierced. And the whole debacle is what led to some leaps in my physical recovery from eating disorders, and a greater understanding of my personal identity. Excessive? […]

For My Sister on Your Birthday

For My Sister on Your Birthday

My Sweet, special sister,
18 never looked so beautiful.
Screen Shot 2018-10-24 at 4.13.21 PM
My sweet pea, you have such a fiercely loving heart. You have always had this beautiful compassion for people that translates to the way you interact with people.
I have watched you feel so deeply and love so boldly, and I love watching you blossom.
Screen Shot 2018-10-24 at 4.16.25 PM.png
Since the first time I saw you dance– really dance– about 3 years ago, I knew you were a shining star. Remember that fame has nothing to do with the gifts God has blessed you with. He’s going to use them whether your name is known or not. That has no bearing on the beautiful talents you have. I will always be your fan, and I will always cheer on your passions.
And your voice. Your speaking voice brings joy and smiles to so many faces, and your singing voice carries such depth and pure talent no one can deny. I am so proud of all of your hard work, determination, and persistence to do what you feel called to do.
Keep seeking that calling, and rest in the fact that you are so loved, so precious, and so called. I am forever your big sister, which is forever one of my favourite parts of who I get to be. Not because I’m a big sister– but because my little sister is one of the coolest people I’ve ever known.
img_6081
I love love love you with all my heart. You are in my prayers always.
Check out my amazing sister’s music! 

A Morning with my Best Friend

A Morning with my Best Friend

Morning. Not stupid early, but not late morning, it’s 8:30am and your eyelids open after a solid, undisturbed 8 hour sleep. You smile to yourself, feeling that euphoric, passionate, life-is-good-because-God-is-good emotion that translates to excitement to spend time with Jesus. You know He’s going to […]

Trusting in the "Delay"

Trusting in the "Delay"

Much of today’s musings are inspired by a wonderful message preached by Pastor Mike Rutledge   at Risen City church yesterday, where Jesus met me in my own worries, stress, and anxieties and revealed newness to me as His Spirit does, starting when I so loudly […]

UPDATE: Excitable Hellos, Tearful Goodbye, Seasons Changing

UPDATE: Excitable Hellos, Tearful Goodbye, Seasons Changing


Hello Friends!!
Long time no blog. I have missed sitting to write. How I feel my soul has been needing to sit and let the words flow in pen and paper. Or, more accurately, finger tip and keyboard.
And, friends, this song share is my theme song right now.
I want to start this post off by acknowledging a prayer from the hearts of one of my dearest friends, Josee.
I haven’t even gotten back to this precious girl yet. But Josee left me a voicemail with a prayer. It was timely, as is Josee’s way. It’s Jesus’ way. And Josee prayed over my desire to be with Jesus, that He would increase that desire and increase my capacity to hear from Him.
Since that prayer, Jesus has done just that, as He faithfully does. And in the midst of some of the biggest and most drastic changes of my life (new church, Johnny heading back to school and soccer, new house, less roommates, one of my best friends married, last year of uni, new jobs), I have recognized both my own complacency and fear.
But He’s stilled me. As I’ve tried to fill fears with things 
— some tangible some imaginary —
He has called me to be still. 
It’s been uncomfortable.
My identity has been brought into question.
If I’m not
the thinnest, the kindest, the best cook, the best writer, the leader, 
what am I?
If I’m not
constantly perfecting my craft, 
who am I?
If I’m not
living in my beautiful relationship with Johnny,
what is my worth?
It’s these ugly questions I’ve had to confront as my mind has wanted to keep soooo busy in the thick of all this change and chaos. I maxed out my booty at the gym, planned out every detail of the perfect new house, perfected all my agendas, completed a bunch of tasks for work, prepped my school notebooks– all things that have needed to be done, but all as a means of distracting myself from underlying
f e a r .
I have always felt I dealt well with change. But maybe it’s because my “dealing” is in busybodying. Which looks great to the world… but sometimes, we all just need to cry.
Most importantly, we all need to bring any identity we conjure up to the foot of the cross, that Jesus might be made our everything. King of hearts, in His rightful place.
a6ac055f4ecfd39223691555bdb27cb5.jpg
Jesus, help me not to walk in my own way, to fill my life with meaninglessness, but to put all my trust in You. Lord, help me to know my True and Real identity in You. Might I not fear, Lord, but know the power that You have in me, and the relationship you desire to have with me at all times. May my joy be complete in You, so that I can do YOUR works, and not the world’s works. 
God, would you show yourself to all of us who think things or people or health or knowledge or talents will satisfy or improve our lives. Reveal Your eternal plan of love and joy to Your people, Lord. 
Jesus, I repent of my turning from You. Lord, help me to live in harmony with You, and not in worry or fear. Help me to know that You are constant in the change. You never change, and I can’t wrap my head around that sacrificial love, Lord. Thank-you for filling me up so vibrantly right now, Lord. 
One of these beautiful changes has been the wedding of one of my dear best friends, Beth.
40110851_303047473606752_2601109074372198400_n40202725_317562089012988_7711657833447555072_n40209950_255672948607426_449309263412592640_n
Beth and Jared live to serve Jesus. They are clearly called for ministry, and whatever that ends up looking like, I know that He will use them for such glory, and I simply cannot wait to watch Him continue to work out their story. It was simply a classy, beautiful, Jesus-filled wedding like none other.
And as I reflect on this “Jesus-filled”…
Lord, You see me. You know me. And You love me, through and through.
(How, we think? How, with all our ugly and pride and gossip and sin?)
Jesus’ unconditional love is purposed to be perfected in His people. And I see it, in all its glory, in the wedding of Beth and Jared.
40062124_910349919154296_6891519169552973824_n.jpg
I see His love in my Johnny, who left for the start of His final year at Providence University College.
img_3093
I am so filled with pride for him and his hard work, determination, love for people, and expectation of Jesus’ goodness and faithfulness. Jesus, use Johnny for all Your glory. Surprise him. Love him and strengthen him. 
Until we meet again, my love.
Being apart is hard. It’s easy to wallow in missing, in “craving,” in melancholy. But I know far too well the calling God has for us to live out this time of distance for Him, and that is exactly what we will do. Pressing into Him, trusting Him, grabbing hold of Him, extra-intentionally reaching out to each other, too. This is a beautiful opportunity to invest in our communication for life.
In the midst of such a tearful goodbye has also been some beautiful reunions.
Like those with my beautiful friend and past roomie Autumn; one my dearest brothers, Kevin; my precious friend Sarah, from Creekside; and one of my best friends from high school and her boyfriend, Sammy and Tanner.
I made a tried and true breakfast recipe of mine for a couple of these friends: PB&J Breakfast Cake.
40071156_227535891276148_1372825745717460992_n

PB&J Breakfast Cake
(recipe for one serving)
Ingredients
1/3 cup oats
1 egg white
1 Tbsp sugar or stevia
1 Tbsp coconut cream or regular cream
1 Tbsp almond milk or other milk
1 Tbsp coconut oil
1 Tbsp peanut butter
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 Tbsp berry protein powder
2 Tbsp hot water
Whipped topping and berries, to serve
Method

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a small ovenproof baking dish.
  2. In blender place oats, egg white, sugar, cream, milk, oil, peanut butter, baking powder, salt, and vanilla, and blend about 30 seconds, or until fully incorporated. Pour into prepared dish.
  3. Bake 18-20 minutes, or until inside is cooked, and edges are golden brown.
  4. Meanwhile, mix protein powder and hot water in small dish. When cake is cooled, poke holes in top of cake. Pour protein powder mixture over top.
  5. Top with whipped cream and berries. Eat warm or cold; mix up and serve like cereal with milk, if desired! Soooo yummy.

Flexibility Journey

If I had a bucket list of things I wanted to accomplish, something that would be at the top of it is becoming more flexible. I got this tattoo that says “dance” two years ago. While, looking back, I don’t think I’d get it again, […]

A God of UNComfort Zones

A God of UNComfort Zones

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 I’ve been thinking a lot about the Biblical merit for not being in “comfort” zones. What is “comfort?” […]

What Is Exhaustion Without Purpose?

What Is Exhaustion Without Purpose?

All I can think about right now is hitting my pillow.
I hate sounding dramatic, but my eyelids are so heavy and my whole body is exhausted from not stopping all day.
And that could easily be for nothing.
I could easily work this body hard and fast for a single purpose: my own feelings of worth, productivity, to boost my ego, “because I’m good at it or enjoy it,” to “make a living.” But, why? Why live to “make a living?” Surely I was put on this earth for more than to be put on this earth.

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. MATTHEW 20:28

A pastor I very much look up to and respect preached a sermon on this very verse yesterday that God used to convict and challenge and change me. Jesus might call me to a remote part of the world to be in the depths of danger with starving children and my calling and purpose would be to say “it is well with my soul” and obey. He might call me away from all comforts and pleasures, the “things of this world” that I think bring me joy and say, “These things are NOTHNG,” showing me that glimpse of Heaven, and OH, how good that would be. JESUS I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE.
Don’t allow me to live this life selfishly, Jesus. Don’t allow me to think about when it’s my turn to eat, or my turn to “shine,” or anything of myself or “my” success. Jesus I just want Your name glorified in my life, and I know that that looks like servanthood. Less Cassie and more You, I pray Jesus, every day.
This doesn’t look like burnout, and it doesn’t look like the striving I often find myself wound up in again. It looks like submitting, it looks like letting go, and it looks like listening. It looks like joy, and unabashed consideration for every soul I encounter. I can’t be perfect in this, so I might as well give Him the steering wheel. It’s all I was created to do.

When Will I Learn?

When Will I Learn?

…that life is all about the “little moments?” Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.” I have written about it countless times. And I think about it all the time. But sometimes, in the heat of a moment, it doesn’t […]