“Over Christmas? Really?” That’s usually the reaction I get when I tell someone that Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. But in my house, it’s the same every year. My mom makes the most amazing turkey dinner on the planet, for one thing. And the smell […]
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When I have time to really cook… that’s my down time. Me in the kitchen with zero stress, a few hours on my hands, and some awesome tunes is probably my absolutely favourite kind of me time. All for the sake of flavour creating, plating, […]
Raise your hand if you struggle with feeling like your worth is in your productivity?(🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️<— me).
Part of the Christian’s calling is submitting to the Word of God as Truth. Christians believe that within the Bible are the keys to life; real Truths are found in the Scripture, everlasting Truth of our Maker, and not the superficial, temporary lies of the world.
So, what does Jesus say about being defined by productivity/what I do?
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing.
Upon being convicted of this, I talked to Jesus and sat in His presence and have been, little by little, made aware of the “go-go-go” mentality that was slowly killing me, my energy, and my spirits.
And my life has recently, finally, been looking more like rest.
I’ve been spending most evenings at home, reading, even watching a little TV, spending much more time with friends, but also not feeling “guilty” for having some me time. Most importantly, I’ve given more space for time with Jesus.
And, naturally, time with Jesus has led to more healing.
So the fact that today looked like
-waking up slowly, spending some time in the Word and then in prayer,
-enjoying an unrushed breakfast with my friend and housemate Mary and some amazing conversation,
-cleaning the house together,
-slowly but surely making my way with Maddie to my workplace, Pure Kitchen, not to work but to study and write an essay (in record time, thanks to more rest and therefore focus),
-spending time talking to Maddie and my co-workers, too…
-going to the gym cuz I felt like it,
-sitting in a coffee shop to read and write and pray by myself cuz my soul craved it…
-wondering what I’m going to do in 10 years and letting my mind wander but then slowing down and sitting with Jesus and knowing He transcends time and doesn’t call me to know all these details but just to trust…
A day as breezy and slow and unplanned as this would have once caused me such anxiety. Lacking a strict to do list feels foreign.
Jesus has been teaching me what “righteous organization” looks like. And it’s good. It’s caused me to confront and reflect on some things in my soul I might have thought I wanted to ignore.
And I come back to this:
Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing.
My boyfriend Johnny and I have been dating for very nearly three years (whaaat?) In our last few semesters of our undergrads– and, therefore, of long distance dating, YAY– I miss him more than ever, and often reminisce some of my favourite memories with him. […]
He is said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Do I live as though I believe this? Do I believe this?
Today Jesus blessed me by confronting me with this grace that I certainly believe in, this Truth that is too good to be true– Jesus’ grace is all I need— and giving me tangible tools to heal from layers of lies that have sought to teach me that grace isn’t sufficient.
All in His timing.
Jesus, You are so so good.
Waking early this morning, I made pumpkin spice pancakes and coffee and spent time in His Word before heading out the door to meet two of my pastors and friends.
What the next hour in their company brought was healing I couldn’t imagine.
Offering me leadership accountability and counselling, this dynamic duo, through the Holy Spirit, equipped me with tools as I met them with my biggest conviction of the past several years: My lifestyle is too busy.
I don’t live as though I believe His grace is sufficient. Because when I’m not doing something, I think I need to be. I fill up all my time so that I don’t have to think or rest. A phenomenon that has led to my hyper-processing, and a low ability to focus on one thing at a time. Stressed to the max, I haven’t known how to say no.
After meeting with this beautiful family, I took all my notes and everything they had said, and prayed. I sat still in Jesus’ presence and allowed myself to be there. And I heard Him speak:
There are still areas of law in your life, Cassie. I call you to freedom.
Having feared, in the past, letting go of many of the stringent routines I’ve adhered to for a long time, Jesus made very clear to me some of the tangible things in these routines that didn’t need to be there, and that were stumbling blocks rather than helpful. Things I actually didn’t care about, but was just so used to doing.
I did the necessary things, after praying, to remove these stumbling blocks from my life.
Lay it down. He picks it up. Thank-you Jesus.
And today, I was more present than ever with my homework.
I had a killer workout without thinking about/stressing about other things.
I was present with my beautiful friend, Brooke, who really needed a listening ear.
And I’m not afraid to rest tonight and watch MasterChef, read a book I’m loving, eat some snacks. These simple things would usually give me anxiety that I have not previously been aware of, but, as I sit here and write, I feel a calm in every part of my being that I haven’t felt in a long time. I have established priorities that my Lord has anointed, and they’re for His sake, and rest/fun is a part of that.
His grace is sufficient for me, period. His grace is all this life is about. And I will boast in my weaknesses in order that His strength might be known– because the more weaknesses Cassie has, the more His strength is made manifest in my short time on this earth.