Morning. Not stupid early, but not late morning, it’s 8:30am and your eyelids open after a solid, undisturbed 8 hour sleep. You smile to yourself, feeling that euphoric, passionate, life-is-good-because-God-is-good emotion that translates to excitement to spend time with Jesus. You know He’s going to […]
When I started making pancakes a few weeks ago, I became intrigued by all the types of pancakes that may exist, wanting to learn more about how they were all made. German pancakes, Apfelpfannkuchen, are more like crepes than pancakes. With only three or four […]
Hi All! Happy Monday! Whether you spent it working, with yourself, with loved ones, I pray that it was all in and through the Lord, and that you recognized his always-present love.
1 JOHN 6-7 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
Today as I heard and easily pinpointed the tricks of my eating disorder, I thought about how backwards, twisty, and pointless it is.
Here were the steps the devil took to reel me in.
- Overheard a conversation among co-workers about eating egg whites and never eating yolks because of their higher calorie/fat content, as well as eating high protein and getting in extra shape at the gym.
- “The workouts you do aren’t enough,” says the voice, “You should be doing much more and eating much less. You used to be fat– you could be thinner than you are now.”
- Loss of focus on training at work/immediate distance (co-worker: “are you okay? You seem tired).”
And here is the ONE step I took toward ridding these often relentless voices:
I prayed to my Lord and Saviour that He would reveal to me in His perfect timing where He is calling me in terms of my focus on nutrition and workouts. And Christ strengthening me I was able to focus on delivering customer service and quality in my work day without that distraction.
I recognize now that because food and exercise have been a means through which the enemy has gripped me in the past, it is an aspect of my life I must be prayerful about, which, when I am honest with my Spirit, the Lord leads me away from focus because it is such a destruction. Because of His perfection that I am so obsessed with, I KNOW that He is capable of turning that destruction completely on its head and making food and exercise nothing but a passion that can be used for His glory– but whenever distraction is present, I have to pray for the aspect to be removed. Because here’s what is funny…
My eating disorder tells me nothing but lies.
It tells me that he will lead me to eating the very healthiest– actually, it leads me to eating next to nothing and passing out.
It tells me that I will become the very fittest– actually, it leads me to having no energy for strength workouts, let alone cardio workouts, but ends up pushing so much cardio that there is such little room for muscle development.
It tells me that I will be living such a “healthy lifestyle” through it– but my “lifestyle” can be NOTHING but Christ’s. I DESIRE nothing but Christ. This world is so frigging temporary. I want Him.
Living the ACTUAL “healthy lifestyle” that my eating disorder lies to me about doesn’t involve the things my eating disorder tells me is so shameful, like binging, lazing around, eating tons of junk food. I don’t believe in these things at all. The ACTUAL healthy lifestyle is something that I know the LORD will provide by His Grace without my flesh putting excessive conscious energy into it.
MATTHEW 6: 25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
HELLO HELLO! Today was a beautiful day. And it had me thinking and praying lots on Luke 6:42: How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your […]
Man, I have been grateful all day that today is a Thoughts post because my heart has been intensely on fire lately and there is a lot the Spirit is calling me to blog about. I’m sure that’s about to come out in a haphazard blight form but it all needs to be said and done prayerfully and man he is pouring out of me lately.
A major thing He has been putting on my heart is willingness to sacrifice– anything. So often in this earth land we hear “life is too short not to do what you want.”
It always amazes me how our spirits are in their nature on the right track, but have been indented by this world.
No, life is too short not to devote every ounce to God. Hm, no, like it doesn’t mean anything if we aren’t in submission to His will and that is the only place of true, pure and unearthed joy, and He often takes us to the lowest of lows to be able to understand that and ultimately glorify His name.
So every person, thing, hobby, you name it in our lives, we need to be willing and ready to give to the Lord to be taken and dealt with if that is His will. And that if it is His will prevailing, it’s gonna be focused on the love– the love of all His people, creation, evident joy and kindness that reflects and is of Him alone! That doesn’t mean He desires all of our relationships and passions removed, but that isn’t the concern– the one concern must be His will. For all relationships and passions are failed without His being the root, reason, and the one moving and working.
The past week or so He has made remarkable imprints of joy and patience on my heart. “I WANT whatever you want, Lord. Fill me with your Spirit, cleanse my soul of what isn’t– I give my whole self to you. Take my flesh, I don’t want it! Work in my soul, make it yours and only yours! Lead me to whatever I need to do to grow only in you.” Long prayers such as this that Jesus has led me to in Word and Spirit. And these prayers have been so joyously answered. His Spirit has taken over so much more and filled holes that the devil had made that I hadn’t even recognized in mere days.
Have you ever conversed with someone, a Christian perhaps, whose words sort of make you tingle or frustrated with discomfort? Like, there’s something not right and the words seem like just words, perhaps repeated and forced. This doesn’t necessarily negate the pure heart of the person but it reflects a soul that hasn’t fully allowed Jesus to just take over and steer it all. These moments may certainly arise as our flesh and human selves are certainly capable of flowery language and self righteousness but only God can produce meaningful words and righteousness in Christ! Like understanding our weakness and sin is necessary in order to just allow the Lord to work but once that is recognized that’s it! He works. This doesn’t negate the devil’s work or desire do our hearts which is why our willingness to submission needs to be strong, but Christ’s Spirit can live out a perfect life because He already has. He always will. And He calls us as temples of His life and death to live that out in our time, bringing His Kingdom to this earth land that is His creation and living in the Truth of His Words.
In all my prayers, I am being brought to the willingness that food may need to be something that is not remotely a part of my life besides consuming it, at least for a time. He brought me to a revelation today as I was baking: I haven’t eaten a single thing I’ve baked in YEARS out of fear, but I bake all the time. I also love cooking and spicing food elaborately and serving others, but eat very simply and repetitively myself. I believe in the depths of my spirit that He has called me to a food passion in order to glorify and praise and magnify Him but that that may never be possible if it isn’t rid of my life for a time in order to let Him fully have that area. I’m not fully clear if this is the case, but I need to be so willing to know that the devil has no reign over food in my life. This needs to be the place my soul finds itself in EVERY SINGLE aspect of this “earth life” so that our Lord is only only only.
I keep praying and letting His love abound, and He is so good, capable of all things, of filling me up when I am least expecting it and wrapping His arms around me in love, taking me as I am but desiring I step only more into His Truth. This is all that makes me JOYFUL FOR EVERY DAY.
It also has been on my heart to share a few friends with you, for I can’t keep their blogs to myself. I haven’t actually met any of these beautiful people but would love to and really relate to them.
Also woke up to see that over 1000 different readers are currently reading my blog (1081) and that it had over 6000 views (6553) since I started it nearly a year ago. Super cool!
How much protein have you had today? Probably more grams of fat than grams of protein. You need some protein that’s lean. Like an egg. There’s no chicken left so just have an egg. You can’t fry it, so you have to poach it or […]