This topic was prompted by a special moment I had with my 8-month-old son about a week ago.
We were out of province for a wedding, and it was bedtime. Theo’s bed for the week was our Pack ‘n Play that we purchased a mattress for to hopefully make more comfortable for our boy.
After I nurse Theo at bedtime, I sing him a song while rocking him, and then lay him down drowsy. At home, he usually happily falls asleep on his own, but in strange places and strange rooms, he has a harder time, and boy do I empathize. I am here for him in any way I can be to make that transition less stressful and more peaceful. I’m his momma after all!
Well, this night, he was not having it. He was putting up a big fuss, and after a good while, I found myself frustrated. He was overtired at this point, which leads to less restorative sleep for both of us, and I was just plain tired myself. I just wanted him to fall asleep. Rocking him again, I willed in my mind that he would just settle and doze off.
And then, something magical happened.
I caught Theo’s sweet gaze, which instantly gave me pause. He was trying to make eye contact with me. A peace settled in every part of my body as I stared back into my boy’s eyes, the boy God had given me to love and raise and cherish and be bonded to. Quickly, Theo’s tense body and tears melted into peace as he lay his weary head on my chest, still looking up at me. I allowed myself to drink in the moment rather than seeing the bedtime routine I’d done many nights before and would do many nights again as a box to be checked. I allowed myself to be present, and that’s all my son wanted: to actually connect with me before he dozed off. I stroked his buttery cheeks, softly kissed practically every part of his face, and smiled at him as he gently smiled back, his body at rest, his eyes growing heavier.
Man, did he ever teach me a huge lesson that day about being present. Suddenly, I wasn’t anxious about how our sleep would be that night or what was next on my to-do list. I just wanted to hold my boy, cuddle him, kiss him, rest with him.
I couldn’t help but see Jesus in that moment. Something happens between when we are little children and when we grow into adults that makes us think we need to rush through life, moments, to get to-do lists done and to be “productive”. And yet Jesus beckons us to slow down and enjoy intimacy and union with Him in Every. Single. Moment. He’s always inviting us to be held in His embrace, walking in step with His Spirit while we journey through this life.
This absolutely astonishing, overwhelming Truth makes me think of the song Abide by Kingdom Culture. There’s no striving, just abiding.
After that smile and moment of connection, Theo went right to sleep and slept for 6 hours straight, an accomplishment for him of late. I truly believe that moment of connection was what he was craving, needing. He reminded me that I NEED that connection with Jesus. And he needs it with his momma and Jesus too.