…and our first quarantined Easter! And, I pray, last.
Not because it was a bad weekend… it was anything but. It’s the weekend we get to celebrate Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection – the fact that God came to dwell perfectly in a human, died for our sins, so that we could live freely for Him. My very purpose and hope lies in Christ, and this Easter was the perfect opportunity to uncover some more selfishness within myself, take up my cross, and follow HIM.
Johnny and I have honestly been having a blast together.
We have been laughing our heads off all day, every day, in joy. We’ve been trying new things together, cultivating our home, spending a lot of time in the Word and in prayer, telling each other every little thing on our minds… and all I can do is thank my precious Father for this timing.
You see, in the midst of our long distance, I could have very easily questioned God’s goodness when missing him was really difficult. I know that missing a significant other is a very, very minor problem, but this is just a single example. In every difficult circumstance – such as this quarantine, even amongst the pain it is causing so many – we can doubt and fear, or we can trust.
The Lord has shown me the reality of doubt and fear – that I shouldn’t pay them any mind. He is ALWAYS in control, and He can ONLY do good. Therefore, while this virus isn’t caused by Him or desired by Him, He IS allowing it and not stopping it in its tracks. I can trust, then, that there is GOOD. I can ALWAYS trust that there is good, because “He is ALIVE!” (Luke 24:23).
Jesus doesn’t diminish pain or suffering; He chose to partake it in with us, when He could have chosen to remain without sin or pain in the world HE created. In the world that HE called good, and that humans tainted. Rather than questioning God, we need to question ourSELVES, our SELFISHNESS, and what our ALLEGIANCE is to.
We are not called to serve fear; the God who walks on water and ceases earthquakes and dries billions of tears simultaneously is alive, and wants a relationship with you. You have no reason to fear, but only cause to celebrate.
And so, when I had a moment this Easter weekend of feeling sad that we couldn’t see my family or Johnny’s as usual; frustrated to see the pain and suffering and feeling useless in the midst of it; tempted to resort to old mechanisms in order to cope with the mixed emotions; I prayed, and was reminded that my feelings weren’t Truth, but that God was much, much greater than them. He led me to call my grandparents to check in on and pray for them; to spend some screen-free time with my husband, just cuddling and chatting and laughing; to have some very intentional, focused time in the Word and prayer, both alone and together; to check in on our neighbours.
Johnny and I find ourselves in a very blessed position. Not one that should ever cause me to be faint of heart in my pursuit of Jesus, or in my time with Him, or in my giving and selflessness. If anything, this blessed time in which we are incredibly fortunate should only cause us to draw near to Christ to ask Him how He would have us use this time.
As soon as I approached Jesus, joy filled my heart, and I remembered that I wasn’t called to save the world. I wasn’t capable of it. The Victorious One has already done that, and He is mighty both to win hearts and save.