Addiction is a condition in which a person engages in use of a substance or in a behavior for which the rewarding effects provide a compelling incentive to repeatedly pursue the behaviour.
I don’t want to be “addicted” to anything but Jesus. I felt this on my Spirit when I realized this morning, while talking to my roommate Mary, that my phone was sitting in a puddle of water on the kitchen counter.
And, rather than panicking or getting overly upset, I was grateful to react this way. By seeing this is a blessing. Okay, I definitely felt some guilt and stupidity for being a bit careless for this item that is a privilege to have and, in many ways, a really good thing to have. I allowed grace for myself for that carelessness, and asked God to help me see the ways today that my phone takes me away from Him.
I, with only the help of dear Mary, submerged my phone in rice– and thus commenced the day-long trial of feeling like I “was forgetting something.” I was late to class because of this euphoria; checked purse and pockets doubly a few times throughout the day. But there was a strange dichotomous feeling that I can’t ignore that came with the lack of cell phone, and I’d define it with this word, if I’m honest:
After putting the phone in rice, I made myself chocolate chip banana pancakes with peanut butter while spending some time in the Word. No lit up screen or notification to distract me. No Instagram feed to scroll through. Just Jesus.
I got to have an amazing, focused conversation with my beautiful best friend Maddie, who listens so beautifully and who shared lots with me, too.
I was completely attentive in both my classes, and could probably repeat so many facts from both lectures (one on child soldiers portrayed in various literatures, and one on a poetry anthology about a murder case)– submerged in learning. Thank-you Jesus!
Bussing to Semara’s house later, before we went to Youth together, was strange, because I ALWAYS listen to music on the bus. But instead I prayed, talked with Jesus, and He put a lot of people on my heart to pray for.
I also believe He relieved me my phone to prepare me for many conversations that I had today with special friends who reached out to me, and He spoke to me about His heart that I would be 100% attentive to all people always, listening, loving, and open to what they have to say– equally listening to HIM and for the Truth He calls me to share.
By His grace, as a couple of my youth reached out to me today with some tough stuff (both, wisely and maturely, knowing Jesus would redeem their struggles), and a few friends my own age confided in me with some big stuff, I reflected on something I’d just written down:
Sometimes, it feels like I only hear struggles and horrible things people are going through. But, Lord, you are telling me that You’ve called people to talk to me about these things for a reason, and You’re calling me to share Your good news and to encourage through Your Word and through what You’ve shown me. Jesus, thank-you for being so faithful and that I can trust Your Word whole-heartedly. Remind me that my whole life is for Your sake, and meaningful when it’s laid down for You. I give everything to You, Jesus.
(Even– especially– my phone).