When I was six years old, my parents told us we were moving. And I remember feeling this mix of fear and excitement and nerves all at the same time, my six-year-old self having no clue what to expect.

Because the family moving into our old place wanted to move in before our new house was ready, we rented a certainly-not-so-gorgeous apartment for a few months while we waited.

My mom would tell you this is out of my character, but on multiple occasions, if we were roaming the halls of the apartment or coming or going, or heading to do laundry downstairs and saw fellow patrons or any sort of human, I would loudly express to my mom or dad, “When are we moving to our BIIIG new house?”

In all honesty, I remember being more concerned with other people understanding the truth. It bothered me knowing that it appeared that we had made permanent residence in this apartment, while the temporary and true thing was waiting elsewhere. Of course, I sounded as if it really mattered to me that others knew we had a big house, and that’s the not-so endearing side of my six-year-old brain.

Jesus tells his disciples that the Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed, indeed small, until it grows. Likening Himself to the sower, Jesus instructs on the nature of the growth of the Kingdom, that from small beginnings it would grow into a marvellous tree, big enough for birds to nest and take refuge in. I wonder if as humans, our nature to glorify big and bold things comes from what we were created for; glorifying a big and bold God.  

Relying on merely principles within the world, this can look like many different things. Maybe you’re someone for whom the devil has twisted the picture of the tree into a picture of our future on this earth. Just like six-year-old me wanted to get onto the next thing, be in the true thing, hip with the times in a modern house, relying on the ability to tell all the new people at my new school that I lived in a ritzier area of town to hopefully make some friends. Maybe it’s living in that place of, “When I move out, that’ll be the paradise life. When I get a raise, that’ll be the paradise life. When I lose weight, or gain muscle, or enter a new relationship, that’ll be IT. When I retire and I’m at rest with more money and a stable plan, then I’ll be happy.”

Or maybe you feel content, “in a sort of tree,” but you’re still restless. Is our nesting place in the Holy Spirit of Creator, or a seemingly comfortable seat in the realm of a very temporary world?

Jesus means to comfort His disciples, to pour out His LOVE when He speaks the truth that we will find permanent lodging in Him, our Father.

When we were staying in this apartment back when I was six, I remember my mom becoming distressed about the beetles we began to find. We had laid out mattresses in the bedrooms and my mom one day came out screaming that there was a beetle crawling right near her face. It was just another one of those things that contributed to the apartment just not feeling like home. Of course, we all longed for a place to call our own.

My little sister, however, would have happily made lodging in this apartment. Now 16, we recently returned from a family trip to New York City, and the apartment life, joined with the busy hubbub of the city, still attracted Courtney immensely. She feels called to serve amidst this “new age” atmosphere.

Jesus goes on to tell His disciples that from within the dominion of Heaven, those called to it are to bring out both what is new and what is old.

Because we serve a Living God, we must obey Jesús’ command to bring treasures both new and old out of His Truth. And while this doesn’t mean indulging new tricks of the devil, who tempts us with making temporary idols based often on the culture of dwelling, it does mean embracing the work of the Spirit today, the “new,” because our resurrected Lord is certainly not confined to the past.

And of course, the “old” is just as important. Jesus calls us to adhere to His teachings and commandments, trusting that “He is working all things for good” and that within those commandments that are simply true, He is doing new things.

Ultimately, when Jesus works His way into our hearts, and we glimpse His Spirit, there is no going back. Nothing else in this world that tries to tempt or satisfy could ever come close and is ever fading, and Jesus puts it this way: “The dominion of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; then in his JOY he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” The man changed by Jesus Christ does not physically lose his life. Jesus promises to fulfill our earthly needs. But the man who knows and abides in Jesus Christ loses the fixation and longings, the restlessness and heartbreak, exchanged for the JOY of serving the ETERNAL Heavenlies. The Heavenlies, which Jesus calls “His Father’s House” in the book of John, “eternity” in 2 Peter, “the better country” to “reign with Christ forever.” Which He calls paradise. And when we accept Jesus as Lord of our lives, we know that that home with Him is waiting for us, there are trumpets sounding in Heaven as we speak, but the work and servantship and this JOY unspeakable is NOW; the Kingdom of Heaven is within us.

When asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The kingdom of God will not come with observable signs. Nor will people say, ‘Look, here it is,’ or ‘There it is.’ For you see, the kingdom of God is in your midst.”

This was true when I was in the little apartment, antsy for a place to truly call home. It was true when my little sister was picturing a future life in NYC, and it will be true if she is living there one day, busking in the streets or working in a little office. And she need only ask the Spirit into her heart to guide her, and you need only ask the Spirit into your heart to guide you, and we witness our Father father us.

In the time of Jesús’ teaching, people thought they knew what He meant when He spoke about the Kingdom of Heaven. But when he told His parables about that Kingdom, they were surprised to hear it compared to a place where lost sheep are found, new is brought out of old. Our faith is built on a HISTORY of God’s rightful dealings with the people of Israel, and then our following a risen Christ.

When our lives are in submission to the sower Jesus, knowing we are the new Israel, saying, I’m coming to Your altar, Jesús, submitting to all your doctrines as Truth and love, we rest in an ever-growing tree, glimpse His precious face, and His Spirit strengthens us to say, “Hence all earthly treasure, JESUS is my pleasure.”  


An Update and an Apple Crisp

Good morning my friends!

There are few things I would rather do with free time in the morning than bake a delicious breakfast that is probably more like dessert, sip coffee, and read my Bible outside with Jesus. I feel blessed when I have these chances, as I did the other day.
As a kid, I hated pies and fruity desserts. Any dessert I saw with berries or apples or fruit of any kind, I steered clear of.
My picky days are gone and I have an appreciation for most every food. As far as fruity desserts go, apple crisp is by far my favourite.
And since it's fruit and oats, it's breakfast, right?😉
I have a sweet tooth, but love how sweet foods are naturally. The only sweetener in this breakfast was dates– although I have made it for dessert and used brown sugar, also of course delicious. I had this, though, with a coffee and a scoop of cookie dough coconut milk ice cream– yes for breakfast– and it was too good not to share my recipe with you.
I didn't measure anything, so these are just guesses for ya! But feel free also just to chuck ingredients in and have fun😊

Breakfast Apple Crisp

Recipe for just 1, but easily multiplied


1 Apple, sliced into thin wedges

3 saver dates, chopped

3 Tbsp oats

1 egg

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp nutmeg

1 Tbsp almond milk or any milk

1/2 Tbsp peanut butter

Couple pecans, chopped


1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. In oven proof dish, place Apple slices at bottom. Top with one of the dates.

2. In blender, combine the other date, 2 Tbsp of oats, egg, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg, and milk. Blend until smooth and consistent. Pour mixture over apples.

3. In small dish, mix peanut butter, pecans, 1 Tbsp oats, and 1 date. Sprinkle over apples.

4. Bake in preheated oven for 20-25 minutes, or until apples are cooked through and top is crispy. Serve hot or cold with a scoop of ice cream!

I also wanted to let y'all know that some updates are coming to the blog. As I pray over it and seek the Lord's will, I feel called to consider topics and posts that I haven't before, and am also just interested in writing about what interests and fills the souls of my readers. I know many of my readers are interested in eating disorder recovery, and that is definitely something I don't want to ignore and feel called to write about authentically.
To give you an idea of what to expect– the usual series will be consistent here:
Monday Devotions
Tuesday Ideas
Wednesday Play-By-Play
Thursday Recipe Share

If there are any questions or specific topics regarding recipes, recovery, or faith that you would like me to address, head to the "Talk to Me" tab and let me know what you're wondering about! This can be anonymous if you'd like.

TEN THINGS TUESDAY: Must See, Do, and Taste in NYC

Happy Tuesday July 25th! I can't believe we are nearing the end of this month. Summer is quickly disappearing, which brings big changes to my life and routine again, some happy and some sad, but all to the glory of Jesus Christ.

If you missed my last post, be sure to check it out. Today I thought I'd clarify my personal opinion of the top ten attractions in NYC.

Broadway. My family and I saw Wicked, and while it's the only broadway show I've ever seen and thus have nothing to compare it to, I recommend you see THIS ONE. It blew my expectations out of the water in every way.

Biking Central Park. We rented bikes and got almost 3 hours worth of biking around the iconic park. It is complete with tons of food stands, runners and joggers, and other bikers; friendly faces and dog walkers, art sellers and buskers. It even has a water park, as well as several restaurants and a John Lennon memorial! I have never so much enjoyed a bike ride!

Carmine's. This Italian restaurant in the heart of Times Square serves delicious pastas of every kind you could dream of, all family style with free garlic bread. I had a white wine shrimp linguine that was almost as good as the pasta at Daniella's in Boston.
Rockefeller Centre. A trip to the top of the Rockefeller Centre, where Jimmy Fallon records his Late Show, served as the perfect view of the entire city.

OatMeals. My family would disagree with you, but I have been excited about visiting this build-your-own oatmeal cafe for years, as I learned that someone else understands how delicious and versatile this food is! My only regret is that the owner was not in when we visited… but my peanut butter banana bacon oatmeal was to die for.

Ferry to Staton Island. This free ferry boat served as a beautiful scenic trip both to and from the peaceful Staton Island. We had dinner right on the lake at a seafood grill place which served delicious crispy salmon. We ferried back at nighttime, getting the perfect view of the city all aglow.
By Chloe. The famous By Chloe all vegan restaurant lived up to the hype! We could barely get a seat even though we went for a lunch at 2:30. The beet ketchup was probably my favourite part of the experience.

The Brooklyn Bridge. Another gorgeous site seeing moment, walking along this famous bridge was breathtaking.

Edison Hotel. Our hotel, the building Thomas Edison first implemented electricity in, was full of history and right in the heart of Times Square. It was the perfect location.
Greenwich Village. You can dedicate days to touring this gorgeous part of the city, which is full of hole in the wall cafes and pubs, vintage stores, and museums.
The 9/11 Memorial. An absolute must-see.

UPDATE: Travelling to NYC

Wow. What a busy and exhausting but wonderful week it has been.

New York City. “The city that never sleeps.”

My gracious parents took my sisters and I on this family vacation for a week, and while it was an overall wonderful experience, God taught me a lot in terms of anguish– but ultimately love.

I wrote THIS the evening we arrived in the city:

I’m currently typing this on the very high 17th floor terrace of the Edison Hotel in New York City; literally right above NYC’s busiest, nosiest strip. It is 11:41pm, Monday, and the city that never sleeps is certainly not sleeping; in fact, the noises, flashes, and shouts are deafening. Office buildings are aglow; there are giant billboards advertising models and perfumes staring back at me; and I’m here typing on my laptop, messy bun and pjs, after a little cry and prayer time, in awe of my Lord who never ceases to meet me and love me exactly where I’m at.

All the LORD spoke into my heart was what He reminded Martha of in the well-known parable in Luke’s gospel: “Only one thing is needed, and it will not be taken from you” (Luke 10:41).

I was so overwhelmed that first day. I spoke with my dad about how humbling it was to witness such masses of people, knowing and reminded that our God is sovereign over all of them. What peace we can take in that… but also how I anguish seeing such blatant love of the world.


The endless money spending, fixation on fashion and looks, pollution and industrialism and “self-sufficient” focus made me so sad at first, I felt I couldn’t shake it. 

But I prayed that first night, and the Lord reminded me that His Spirit had been in New York City long before I had come; it always had been and always would be. Just like any other time, my only call was to submit to His authority and what He was doing.

Part of that was sharing in anguish for what the devil was attempting, sure, but it was mostly loving and embracing God’s people.

I slept very well that night.

The next morning brought sunshine and bonding time. Endless Starbucks trips throughout the trip became little pockets of curing my homesickness– but of course, I needed only Jesus for that. 


That morning we went to the top of the Rockefeller centre, which provided the best view of the city. I highly recommend this! It was absolutely overwhelming to look out at the sea of architecture.

The rest of that next day brought more touring and pursuing, including a stop outside the famous “Friends” apartment building, and “Waverley Place” of Wizards of Waverley Place. 

Dinner was at a DELICIOUS family style pasta place called Carmine’s. My dad and I happily shared a massive plate of linguine in white wine sauce with garlic shrimp. I want to experience the taste all over again!

Wednesday was Central Park day, where we rented bikes and biked all through the park. So many smiling faces and happy, sunshiney people out enjoying the park, too. I couldn’t stop smiling flying down the hills on my bike.

We had sushi at Whole Foods for lunch and then went to the 9/11 memorial, which was such an emotional place. I felt the Spirit’s presence so strongly in that place.

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Crossing the Brooklyn bridge was next! Right over rush hour and hot and sweaty, we embarked the bridge over zooming cars and the beautiful lake. Again, I felt so small, so aware of my only purpose as the only eternal One’s child and servant.

We ferried to Stanton Island that evening and I enjoyed more seafood and pasta. What blessedly delicious food on this trip!

Our final full day in the city involved A LOT of hot and sweaty walking. We toured Manhattan and China Town, ate at some famous cafes such as By Chloe and, my very favourite, OatMeals (I got the ELVIS– oatmeal with bacon, peanut butter, and banana, YUM), and a stop outside Kleinfield’s.


And that evening was WICKED. My favourite part of the trip ended up being this incredible Broadway show, in which the main character was nothing but a Christ-figure and the talent in singing, acting, and dancing was altogether mind-blowing. We were all mesmerized!

Complete with musical road tripping and bonding with my sisters and parents, this trip was a blessing and a lesson. And just like always, ONLY ONE THING WAS NEEDED– and it was the position at Jesus’ feet. He provided joy, opportunities, and love, and I trust in Him alone.




TEN THINGS TUESDAY: My Personal Favourite Things You’ll Find in My Cookbook

I have been excited about the prospect of writing a cookbook for years now, and am just recently putting it all together. It will be ready for ebook and/or print purchase on September 1st, 2017, and I will also have opportunities for you to WIN a copy, so stayed tuned.

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My hope is that you’ll find the recipes both delicious and nourishing– sometimes just soul-nourishing, which is also important– and both easy and precise. Below, I’m listing my favourite included recipes and features.

Stuffed French Toast. Peanut Butter Chocolate. Nuff said.

Chicken Pad Thai. I perfected this recipe since making it diligently for my uni housemate and I and downing giant bowls of it together.

Chocolate Chunk Pancakes. Ultra fluffy; can be made dairy-free or not.

Sweet Potato Toasties. Sweet and savoury versions, and also a how-to-make crispy sweet potato fries!

Thin and Thick Smoothies. Funky Monkey, Cinnamon Bun, Berry, and MORE flavours.


Perfect Buttercream Cupcakes. Classic and creamy, with tips and tricks on how to make them just right and impress all your diners.

Mac and Cheese. With a full-on dairy, and dairy-free version.


Overnight Oatmeal. Perfect for a take-to-work breakfast.


My Famous Cookie Dough Brownie Pie. Always sure to impress.

Excerpts and Stories. Tons of how-tos, full-scale photos, and stories.


“I’ve been so considered with exalting my own life, body, looks, goals, and personality that I forgot that I am meant to allow the Lord of my life to exalt Himself through me.”


Do you ever think about how much more time you might have if you didn’t have to sleep, dress yourself, or eat? What would we do with that time?

I remember being maybe six years old with my family at Marineland, an amusement park, and loving all the rides and attractions and never wanting the day to end. When we stopped for a picnic, I remember thinking, Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we didn’t get hungry or have to eat? I could be spending all this time on the rides! Eating is inherently good; a creation of God. Food is for the stomach and the stomach for food, but God will destroy both one and the other (1 Cor. 6:13).

And I’m sure all of us have considered the idea of the time we’d have if our bodies didn’t require sleep. But rest is good. I lie down and sleep. I wake again because the LORD sustains me (Psalm 3:5).

And in this world, of course we must wear clothes, for obvious reasons. If we didn’t we would be of course visually exalting ourselves. But do not worry about your body, what you will wear (Matthew 6:25).

What are we truly and inherently meant to do with our time?

For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. ROMANS 8:13

The world wants to come at me with all sorts of things to fill my time with. Jesus’ grace for the way I have spent HIS time, HIS money, and HIS thoughts in the past is one point that is overwhelming. And in part with understanding that never-ending grace, knowing that we’re forgiven, we return to Him and consider the past no longer, we yield the flesh to Him and He takes over. He shows us when to think about food and clothes and sleep in ways that are not stressful and simply serving, and leaves space for what we’re meant to be doing; serving the Lord Jesus. Where these temporary things fall in to the background.

Even if the world tries to make me a VICTIM through struggles such as idolization, I know that I am not the victim, but rather taking the beatings entirely for Lord Jesus, as I am a member of His body.

“Ok, Jesus. I want to produce your fruit. I want to be good. I want to put off the flesh… I’m trying so hard, because I really do love you… but I can’t. It’s not working. How can you forgive me?”

It’s who HE IS. It’s what HE DOES. And no, none of us can rid the impulses of flesh, the old man, the sin. We hinge and are meant to live out of His strength, because His Spirit can do it, and does do it. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Phil 4:13). What a beautiful thing, to be a family, taken care of by other members for one common, eternal, most beautiful purpose: Jesus Christ.

Let Him flood you with that peace. Relinquish the control that is all fabricated, and hand it to Him.

“Christianity is not death to sexuality, not death to eating, not death to sleep, not death to the eyes and looking at things, not death to talking…. your body is GOOD! God made it, and He made it with all those things for a REASON! But He, in all His power, was meant to rule it, and coming into that Truth makes you the happiest person on earth.” –Eric Ludy

{Meditation written by Cassie Wolfe, adapted from sermon “The Body” by Eric Ludy}


Noticing a trend?

I recently took the liberty of watching some Gordon Ramsey videos, and found myself teeming at the glorious EFFORT and PRECISION that goes into legitimate cooking. I am making it a goal to better my cooking ability, feeling called to it in the way it teaches patience and selflessness. I want to make my boyfriend’s favourite meals exactly the way he likes them; I want to make my own favourite breakfasts the way they’re supposed to be made. I want to make my sister’s favourite cupcakes beautifully and artistically, so that she can see the love that goes into them and that we can enjoy them together.

I am currently making my way through a soup challenge, embarking upon dishing out the classics. Check out my most recent post for my own homemade chicken noodle soup!

Today, adding to the collection, is a homemade tomato pesto soup.


This soup would make a delicious side to a grilled cheese or other lunch sandwich, or pair alongside a hearty salad. It would also do well as a first course for a dinner party. I am not usually a fan of tomato soups, but with some heavy-handed seasoning and patient simmering, I found this final product delicious– hence my sharing it with you!

Tomato Pesto Soup (recipe serves one as a side)


1/4 plum tomato, sliced

1/3 cup canned, diced tomatoes

2 Tbsp chopped onion

2 Tbsp finely diced green pepper

1/4 tsp basil

1/4 tsp oregano

1/4 tsp cilantro

2/3 cup vegetable broth

salt and pepper, to taste

1/4 clove garlic, pressed

2 cashews

2 tsp grapeseed oil

handful fresh arugula

2 tsps nutritional yeast or Parmesan cheese


  1. In blender, place all tomatoes, onion, pepper, basil, oregano, and cilantro. Puree until smooth. Transfer to pan and add vegetable broth and salt and pepper. Bring to a slow boil;, stirring occasionally; reduce heat immediately. Simmer about 5 minutes.

  2. To make pesto, add garlic, cashews, oil, and arugula to blender and puree until smooth.

  3. To serve, place soup in a bowl and add pesto to the centre. Garnish with cheese.



As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. JOSHUA 24:15