Today, if only you would hear his voice,
“Do not harden your hearts. PSALM 95: 7-8
I pray yours is the only voice I hear, Jesus.
Today started with worship, and it was rushed. It “bugged” me. Those sleep-in days when you want to start your morning with worship and the Word but you have commitments and time things and life,
but there is no “but,”
and here’s the thing, HA, whether I’m intimately worshipping Jesus and in the Word or out with friends or in class or in the midst of spiritual battle or singing His praises from the rooftops, HE IS. “My” state is gone.
My chains are gone,
I’ve been set free,
This is the power of Christ in me.
I thank Him for friends and loved ones as Maddie, Mary, Bethany, Michele and I head to Symposium Cafe for birthday breakfast to celebrate Bethany’s birthday. I eat dairy-free French toast with powdered sugar and drink coffee and rest in Him and love being with the girls.
Bethany and I study. I am grateful she quizzes me because I think I ace my poetry quiz! Class flies by and I am excited to see my friend Cassia. We have lunch and go to the mall and I buy clothes for the first time in foreeeever, and parts of my dance costume! Grocery shopping, helping Cass find clothes, and catching up with this gorgeous beam of light.
My next class creeps up and it’s a peer editing session, Thank-you Jesus for words, for the opportunity to read others’ work and see YOU in other students’ work! I get to edit a classmates’ essay about father figures, and her thesis is about how father characters all stem from the love of God. So cool.
I head home and remember I had taken out extra ground beef and ask all the girls if I can make dinner. I cook, we eat pasta, and other goodies, and tea, and half-do-homework, and laugh, and the sun is shining and Mary and I marvel at our God and how the English language is not remotely good enough– even those words, “not remotely good enough,” don’t come close enough– to describe or put words to His goodness and being with Him, and that is because HE IS.
I don’t have to “worry” about Johnny knowing how much I love him, how affirmed I am of our love and oneness because JESUS IS. *Johnny’s hair has grown since I’ve last seen it and I really like it– but he should know that I’ll probs go for a haircut with our amazing hair dresser, Pam, in early May, if he’d like to tag along ;).*
I’m not called to fear, or anxiousness, or faint heart, because Jesus needs me courageous and ready to do His will.
I am grateful to Him for restoration in relationships, for such peace with Mary. We watch a show together while I snack before dance and fuel up and as I dance, thank Him, tears in my eyes, because I know I haven’t danced like this, with energy, and joy, for years. Thank-you Jesus, my dancing is YOURS, Jesus!
I am home, and I am in my Father’s arms, resting in His ever-present light and warmth, marvelling in the fullness of His love and learning what it is light to embrace the power of His Spirit through trust in His grace and Truth.