Oh yeah. You better believe it.
Living in Christ means naturally that I eat so much more than what I was when living under a demon. 
But I am not

When we are consumed in ANY worldly item/realm/ideal, we are caught in an ALREADY DEAD world that the devil endorses. We will follow that consumption in endless despair because it proposes some sort of “destination” that does not exist. LIFE is defined by NEVER-ENDING JOY in Jesus Christ: Many, Lord, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?” Let the light of your face shine on us. Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound. In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety. PSALM 4:6-8

Today marks the beginning of Lent in the worldly Christian sphere, but I began yesterday in heard conviction of giving up planning, agendas, and schedules of all kinds. 
In talking to God about this, I tried to argue with Him on it. I know how this story goes. Arguing with Him is a redundant statement in itself because

  1. It is not, never has been, and never will be in His character to argue, an action that takes two, and so I CANNOT argue with God because I will fail;
  2. My stubbornness is indeed CONFIRMATION of something clung to needed to be put at the cross.
  3. When we are convicted that WE ARE HEARING THE LORD, we are called to JUMP, clinging to nothing. Take JOHN 21: 7 for example:

“Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” AS SOON AS Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.”

I usually plan out my days well in advance, and pretty strictly, and I have never before been convicted of this. There would be times where I wouldn’t take a phone call or text a friend back because it would be cutting into an allotted time for ____. CHRIST’S character is to put that other person first. CHRIST’S CHARACTER is to put God first. 

And it came to pass in those days, that he went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. LUKE 6:12

Prayer, thus, is not a ritual or a daily task, but rather an aspect of every moment of every day. HE has provided me the conviction in my confidence in MY OWN plans… and today, now that I have given it over, HE has provided the momentum and rhythm to just live by Him.
Today, that looked something like…
Waking up. Stomach GROWLING! (Happens a lot lately, man, stomach, you have proven to be a bottomless pit the past few weeks), pad into kitchen, coffee & 
Josee had mentioned to me the challenge on her blog that involved incorporating chocolate into breakfast. Hmm.
The only chocolate I have in the pantry are these dairy free chocolate chunks mixed into trail mix. Chocolate chip pancakes! I think, and my stomach growls more. I grab the bag of trail mix, brew coffee, snack on some handfuls of the trail mix as I cook, worship, throw ingredients into a bowl until it looks like pancake batter and start to cook the cakes.
This is a good time to talk about a thought I’ve wanted to get across.
With the abolishment and victory of “food rules” in my life gone, there was a brief temptation by the devil for me to succumb to a world of HYPER-FOCUS on “eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full.” Ie. *You’re not hungry? Oh, can’t snack on that. You think you’re getting full? You better stop!*
This is the exact same disgusting evil as food rules. Because it is a food rule. It is an implication that supposes that its existence is necessary OR ELSE one will “not know how to eat.”
Again, may I offer Colossians 2:20-23:

 If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!” (which all refer to things destined to perish with use)—in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.Praise God that I recognized that evil instantly as the voice of the devil, and have not whatsoever lived that way. Because GUESS WHAT?

Jesus Christ in me does not put weight on food. 
It is rather simple and so rather miraculous that it brings tears to my eyes. He has made me
“get it.” He is doing the same thing with my will succumbed to HIS.
I study the Word, I clean a bit, I feed Joy the fish (while I feed MY JOY, HIS JOY, in the Word!! Haha), and, I dismay, watch the new episode of the Bachelor (soooo cringey) with a curious and laughing Mary, and a refusing Maddie (“I’m going to go sing in my room!”). I get ready for class, probably snack on something else but who remembers these things, and off to class I go.
This professor dances around evil subjects and laughs at them. Jesus, move in this man’s life, I pray! Show him the laugh ability of a “life” WITHOUT You!
Unknown. Plans with a few friends fall through. I walk home, and my thoughts want to drift to planning out my day, thinking about my excitement for what is to come in about five weeks, 
Hey, Cassie. I am here. Choose the better thing, and it will not be taken from you. 
I walk with Jesus instead of my human plans or anxieites for the future. I worship Him as I walk home. And I run into a guy that I know from church, through Johnny, a guy Johnny had run into on our first date. We exchange a smile. It is a real smile, God is so good smile.
I get home. Maddie is at home. I make lunch and I sweep the floors and I throw in laundry while Maddie and I sing and worship and mess up harmonies and laugh.
I have another class, and Maddie and I are lost in conversation that I don’t leave the house until two minutes before it starts. 
Class is good, I am confident in the Lord. When it is over, I have a few hours before having Cass over for dinner. I just want to be with Jesus. I can go anywhere to be with Jesus, I can do anything to be with Jesus, because “my going and my doing” are not vehicles on which Jesus depends upon to be with me. He just is.
I go to Starbucks, because I have a gift card and drink rewards and I do not spend money on drinks at my workplace otherwise, haha ;). I am blessed by free drinks during my shifts! But I grab a soy cappuccino, chat with the baristas who are now so familiar to me, sit in a familiar spot, pull out my notebook and laptop and here I am now.
And all I can iterate, and I pray for true humility, is Jesus,
I found my life when I lost my heart to You.
I think about the miracle that is His life in souls, that is His suffering in order that we might HAVE such life in our souls, that is my Father,
And in Him, there is no room to think about plans that involve Cassie’s day-to-day. 
Jesus, You are all that I want and need. Jesus, Your grace is more than sufficient for me.

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1 Comment

  1. Oh sweet Cassie, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!! The way you described the truths surrounding trying to “negotiate” with God are SO true. When we feel the need to defend something, hold on to something, it’s just further confirmation that we need to give that up. Also the way you said, “Jesus Christ in me does not put weight on food”…. wow! That just shows how much we need to rely on HIM and how much we cannot do these things on our own. The joy in you radiates from this post. Thank you for sharing, sweet girl!

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