TOP TEN TUESDAY: Currently…

Drink. Recently, at home, I’ve been making almond milk lattes practically every day and loving it. Since working at Starbucks I spend barely any money on coffee– which makes it a fantastic job for me😉.

chai tea lattes arent too photogenic 😉

Spirit. I have been spending tons of time in the Word, particularly, recently, Psalms. I am in awe of the way Psalms point to Christ… and I love the ones that are pure worship.

Person. Jillian and I have recently been texting. We’ve always been “Instagram friends” but had no idea just how much we have in common… we look alike, have like identical eating disorders and belief in Jesus, were hired at Starbucks around the same time, have similar blogs… so basically we’re long lost twins ;).

New House. Soon I’ll be posting photos of the finished and furnished house, but for now… Let me just tell you that I LOVE it. I love living on University Avenue, I love having my own kitchen, I love having a simple room, I love the independence. And I’m excited 😊.

Johnny. Johnny is the fastest person on his soccer team at Providence, has made some great friends, and is excited for classes to start. What can I say… I’m a proud girlfriend, who misses my man, but is smiling because I know the Lord’s got amazing plans for Him there. 

Music. I am recently really loving and replaying tons of music by Astrid S. Her voice is so similar to Alessia Cara’s but I like her songs a lot better!

Work. After two years, I am no longer a hostess at Cora’s, and am now teaching dance two nights a week and baristaing. Quite honestly, I feel very blessed in these two dream jobs and pray that the Lord uses me for His purposes in both.

House Warming. Tomorrow night my old dance mates are coming to see my house, and Thursday some of my best friends are. I’m so excited and blessed to have such incredible friends who really care and share in my excitement… and let me cook for them! 😜
Haircut. Next Tuesday I get to see my amazing hair dresser, Pam. I’m sticking with my blonde and going even lighter, adding a few highlights, and getting tons of layers! This is what I’m goin for


Food. I’m eating a much larger variety of foods lately I notice, but just not enough throughout the day usually. But I’m consuming cereal, chips, and “unclean” food on occasion, which is a huge mental breakthrough. 

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MOTIVATION MONDAY: Pilgrimage After His Heart

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage PSALM 84:5

Good Evening!

I still dont know what this picture is to be honest

Today I feel… Excited! Anticipatory!

Today I feel finally right. I am in a space in which I feel peace in my program. I am so excited about my English courses especially after talking to some people at work at hearing that the literature I’m about to dive into is phenomenal. I am so excited to study and know my Lord better this year. I am so excited to be living with two of my best friends, Maddie and Mary! 


We started moving in to our new house today, my first “real house,” and it feels so right. The opportunity to live with just some good women in a city I love is a real blessing that I am growing more and more excited about. And, I can’t lie, I’m quite excited about cooking. 

In addition, my beautiful friend Cassia helped me with the start of the move and I could not have asked for a more bright, compassionate, hilarious girl to help me.

As I’ve gone about today, busy and running errands for most of it, I had so much on my mind! The rest of the packing that needs to get done this day and phone plan figured out this day and new laptop next week and need to buy wall pins that don’t make dents and I work this day and I have to…

There is always a call to breathe and listen to God’s voice, hear it and listen. He is always moving and I feel Him smiling.

My Saviour lived and breathed through lungs and walked with perfect feet on this earth and died a brutal death so that I didn’t have to live in sin. To set me free from the bondage of my eating disorder— SO THAT I could live a life serving Him, loving the Father the way Jesus did and does and living as His light by allowing the Holy Spirit to move through me. 

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. PSALM 84:10

I was dwelling on the fact that with regard to the Bible, to Spiritual teachings/prayer/when I write sermons, there is nothing planned or of myself. Like when I blog and include Scripture, the Scripture comes from what is on my heart and what I’m discerning the LORD needs said.

In other areas, I can be stringent and uptight about planning, which has result in more of me and less of Christ— which is of course enemy-derived.

He must increase; I must decrease. JOHN 3:30

This allowing the Spirit to take over and move and refraining from planning on my own should apply to all aspects of my life; because well, His plans are far greater than mine.

Of course, life involves plans. Without plans, money isn’t saved, churches aren’t built, God isn’t glorified. But God’s plans involve a push, sometimes in a direction that doesn’t suit something I may have previously laid out from my own flesh. And I need to have the Him-derived power to drop everything and shift gears when such pushes do occur.


On this “Motivation Monday,” know that motivation comes from Faith in a God who loves and moves in our lives, and in my growing to-do list:

  • Dance classes planned
  • Room clean and all moved
  • Empty drawers
  • Buy new spandex dance shorts and workout top
  • Print more photos for room
  • New string of lights and light bulb
  • Change phone plan
  • New laptop
  • Grocery shop
  •  Bible study 
  • Edit YouTube video
  • School supplies

AAAAND I shall do it all with a glad heart, trusting in the Lord’s plan and knowing that ticking off each item must be a means of glorifying Him and enabling more of Him.

One of the coolest things about this period of my life is that I am falling still more in love every single day with Johnny. Not needing to talk to him 24/7 but rather grateful and blessed by the moments of catch up we do get… Genuinely so excited to hear about his life and what God is doing over there. 

God, take care of my love. Push him, challenge him, lead him and love him, and challenge us as a couple according to your will, too. 

THOUGHTS THURSDAY: Dinner for a Few

Few earthly things excite me more than a good therapy session in the kitchen.

I have adored cooking since I was eight and used to study my Betty Crocker cookbooks. I was perfectionistic about learning every food trick in the book, and have envisioned planning weekly menus for a family one day based on my husband’s/children’s favourite meals; always improving, always creating. Pushing myself to grow this skill. 

Having my own house this year is an exceptional opportunity to do that. I want to dedicate a night each week to having loved ones over for a study session and a meal; and what I cook for them, I eat too. This is what I imagined as a child and it was an image from God and that is good– and as much as eating a “normal” dinner that I would put effort into for someone else scares me, I know it needs to be done. This is already the Lord’s doing, an act of His putting on my heart and I praise and thank Him for leading me to knowing, okay Cassie, you need to eat the meal you make, too. If you’re investing time in cooking, you can’t simultaneously be investing time in your disorder, ie. cooking effortfull  meals for others and not eating them myself. 

I plan on preparing many of my own recipes, but here are some that I have yet to master that I would like to this year: 

Braided Bread

Battered Haddock and Fresh Cut Fries

Old Fashioned Donuts

Bibimbob

Homemade Egg Noodles with Tomato and Braised Beef Sauce

Traditional Chinese Food

This new season is one in which, as I’ve mentioned to y’all previously, I feel I will be growing in a lot of those “life” ways, in addition to the Lord using me and of course continually changing and teaching me. I’m excited to take advantage of this time and space that He’s blessed me with improve upon skills that He needs me to use for the rest of my life. Including most importantly– a Him-guided former grasp of the Word. 

Put on the full armour of Christ. 

Today I also had an incredible coffee date with a fellow barista named Jessica. Our testimonies are so similar, and she is a picture of the Lord and embodied such love and passion. I am so excited to continue to get to know her as a sister in Christ! 

And finally– my first FaceTime with Johnny. Overwhelming to see him settled in a new bedroom… looking so adorable and smiling and talking for hours and it never feeling like enough. I’m so excited for him.

God’s richest blessings for a weekend that glorifies and expresses His Spirit!

WHAT I ATE WEDNESDAY: The Cottage of God

Waking up at my cottage is always pure blissss. 
The little room my sisters and I sleep in smells like, well, COTTAGE. Which I guess could be described as pine needles and warmth and family, if you know what I mean. The sound of the waves lapping the shore of our beach at Papineau Lake is the sound of waves out of a movie. The whole cottage is a dream, and I am torn between wanting the whole world to admire it and wanting to keep it all to myself.


This morning I woke and made myself a chai tea and mixed cinnamon toast crunch with puffed kamut and nature’s path cereal for breakfast. I finished the bowl with almond milk and blueberries, and brought it along with the tea and a book called “Miracle at the Higher Grounds Cafe,” which I had given my sister as a birthday gift that she just finished, to the beach, where my parents were already sat out, laughing. There’s an exchange that happens at the cottage that doesn’t happen anywhere else, among everyone. The lake makes you smile, I swear by it. Every feeling of nostalgia crept in as I plucked a lawn chair and spooned cereal, staring out at what my Oma calls a “Papineau Day.” The wind rippling the lake, the sun beams streaming on the sand, memories flood back and EVERY SUMMER that I am here, I reflect on the last time I was here. 


Last summer at the cottage feels like… Oh… Mere days ago. And yet last summer at the cottage, I didn’t know Johnny, I was caught up in a friendship drama that seemed neverending, and I had never taken a class at Wilfrid Laurier. I had ombré hair, was not a Starbucks barista, and most significantly and over-archingly, I wasn’t in a truly engaged relationship with my Lord and Saviour. So many changes, so much new, and so much to reminisce on. Every year our dinner conversations are so warm and laughy as we talk about stories from the past… and I remember a different “cottage” feeling, remember the “cottage” of when I was four years old, the cottage that was a far away dreamland of only summertime and that meant Aerosmith music and sand castles and swimming… ALL. Day. Running to the creek to catch frogs and always, always busy. And I remember the cottage of when I was seven years old, the cottage of playing all day with our neighbour, Lydia, of visiting her cottage and feeling like the world was so different, of boating across the lake for bubble gum ice cream and walks along the beaches to discover ever more beauty. The cottage of when I was ten was the cottage of carnivals, the cottage of Lydia, Krystal, Courtney, Lydia’s friend Virginia, and I putting months of work into sending invitations across the lake and putting a performance right on our beach, complete with a haunted house, movie booth, and sandcastle contest. That was the cottage where limits seemed endless. And I remember the cottage of when I was thirteen. That cottage was full of learning and talking, of reading 10 books in a two week period and marvelling at my opa’s wisdom and loving and feeling so grateful for my Oma and rowing the canoe on my own and touching the bottom sand of the lake deeper than ever before. And I remember the cottage of when I was fifteen. The first year I didn’t get so excited for my oma and opa’s dinners, the first year I was afraid to come to the cottage in the first place, the first year food was put in front of me and I cried and that seemed more significant than tanning outdoors and spending time with my family. And the cottage of today. I look back and marvel at the kid who was always climbing, running, and swimming. And I look at these cottage and recognize, really do that man, THEY are ONE cottage. While I changed and was broken down and built up it remained, as it has since it was built by my Oma’s parents decades ago. And as my Oma grew up here; brought my opa for the first time; when my mom brought my dad up to share it with; when they brought us. The cottage stayed the same. 

God is my constant.


In life as we rebel and are pulled spiritually in different directions, God stays firm in His wonder and might. Yes He is always doing a new thing, but it is a new thing that is great and He NEVER leaves our side, even when we stray or are pulled. He created me billions of years before I was any sort of existence, therefore I suppose I did exist but in my Creator’s image only, and is that not amazing in itself. The only place I will ALWAYS exist is with my Creator, with His Son. Knowing that seems to take away the temporary and allows Him to fix our eyes on the eternal. 

What is the cottage of today? Of eighteen? It is of new life. It is of recognizing that right now, the most important blessing is my family. That time with them is of the essence and time on earth in itself is a blessing. It is the time of Johnny’s trip to Winnipeg. It is the time of, yes, some eating difficulties, no fullness yet in appetite but hey, I ate cinnamon toast crunch this morning and haven’t eaten sugary cereal in months, praise the Lord! So the time of growth? Of becoming? Of learning? I guess that’s another ALWAYS statement, because the moments of the past also involved the perfect timing of my God who will never cease to amaze me. 

Anyway. Wow.

After my breakfast, I read the book for a few hours. It’s a Christian read by author and pastor Max Lucado, and I found it just as Krystal said after reading it; very lightly and cutely written, but good. I tanned out on the beach and braved the water for just a little bit. 

At 1pm we all had lunch together. I remember blogging about this last year, but to reiterate, lunch at my cottage has always been a fun ordeal. A giant bowl of mixed fresh fruit that my opa loves to prepare; he also makes oatmeal, and my mom makes eggs and bacon and I– tradition since I was five years old– man the toaster with my opa. I ate oatmeal with puffed kamut, NOT ORGANIC peanut butter, blueberries, and a drizzle of coconut milk. I also had 2 slices of spelt bread, one with a poached egg on top and one with raspberry jam and a bit of peanut butter. Praise the Lord… all these foods (besides the oatmeal) are so different for me… 


At around 3:30, I was sittin out, thinking about how much I yearned for Johnny’s voice. I turned my phone over and saw that I had missed a call from him just by a minute. I called him back, and immediately the sound of his voice set me at an ease and sprang tears to my eyes. We could only catch up for a few minutes, and I so look forward to talking tomorrow for longer. He is now IN WINNIPEG, with a beaming and encouraged Spirit, keeping well. 

Today we had to leave in order to get Krystal home for work tomorrow at 8am. So after lunch I spent more time with my sisters, filming bits of our music video, reading, packing up and cleaning. We did our Bible study out front in my very favourite spot in the world and said our goodbyes to my grandparents and hit the road. 

When we got to Bancroft, we hit up a plaza with a Subway and a Timmies. I ate a salad with turkey and a plain donut for dinner. 


The rest of the car ride was blessed as well. Upon arrival home I was exhausted, and still am! The multitude of things on my to do list will have to wait till morn. 

Rejoice that your names are written in heaven. 

TOP TEN TUESDAY: Ten Things

Music Video. For the past two years at the cottage, my sisters and I create music videos for fun. This year, we’re making one to “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift. Check out our older ones, among other great covers and singing videos on my sister’s YouTube channel.

Photo Shoot. All three of us sisters LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY. Once I get home, I’ll upload the professional photos we took and probably just do a photo log on Thursday; for now, here are some from my iPhone



Food. Eating has been a battle so far up here, although some challenges have been met and the Lord is conquering all that I never could. This morning I had a donut… I put almond milk in my tea… sometimes it’s the little things that really show for it.


Road Trippin. My fam has a road trip tradition and, let me tell you, our drives together are so much fun. We take turns picking the songs, then once everyone’s had two song choices, we break and my creative little sister asks a question of some sort that we all answer. Where do you see the person to your left in 10 years? Who was your first crush? What’s your second favourite movie? We always end up laughing so much. 

Book. Today I will finish and mourn Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, which I suppose is a play and not a book but nonetheless my main and most exciting reading material for the week. Not to mention brilliant, but what did you expect?


Johnny. Johnny just got an iPhone and yesterday we had technical difficulties. Long story short, I haven’t heard his voice since our prayers just before he drove away from my house. Our last days together were incredible and Spirit-filled, our prayers so aligned and our hearts both heavy and excited. We are periodically texting and I keep checking to see how far he is from me. Currently, 7 hours. 


Spirit. He is everywhere… He is filling my heart with more patience here, more Life, more Love, new eyes and new ears. And it is all so real and new especially in such a familiar place…


Today. On the agenda today: boating, hiking, swimming, tubing. Sunset-soaking and praying. 

Moving. My first house is mine this Monday August 29th. I’m excited, especially for the opportunity to live with such godly, incredible women in my life. I have my reservations but know that the girls and I are so aligned in spirit.

Song. On repeat lately is “Beautiful Offering” by Big Daddy Weave. Give it a listen. It’s a prayer.

MOTIVATION MONDAY: My Health, HIS Glory//New Chapters

For the first time I can recall, today I saw a picture of myself and thought I looked… too thin.When I came out to the beach in my bathing suit today, my mom gasped. I didn’t see anything wrong until I saw pictures.

My eating disorder once had me convinced beyond a shadow of doubt that I would be happy and fulfilled once I lost weight. This is utter CRAP. There is no fulfillment in weight loss, let alone any sort of worldly succumbing, or “gain.” 


This is literally just a trick the devil realized would work on me. And it has for a long time. And while Jesus has already won the battle, each time I focus on food/numbers I am “giving up my birthright,” giving up to the devil my OPPORTUNITY to have more cavities filled by the Holy Spirit. 

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ROMANS 12:1

How much of this is “my fault?” My eating disorder is not my fault, but now that my humanness knows who has the reigns of my life, I need to let go of them, too. I suppose that’s an action. Do I need to rip them from the devil, or will Jesus do that? I pray and I allow Him to fill me and His light has shone through me for His glory and I am forever in awe of His movements. 


Today I had an amazing conversation with my little sister who is day by day growing into an incredible woman in God’s image. She loves and gives and offers, caring and empathizing so Christ-like. Seeing that wisdom come through in her was so astonishingly beautiful, and served as a reminder in why these disordered habits CANNOT continue. But why is it that every time I pray and give these over and breathe before I eat there are still anxious thoughts? I don’t know the answer, but I know the Lord has perfect timing and I will continue to submit myself to Him. 

All in all, the cottage trip so far has been blessed. Krystal, Courtney and I are making our annual music video; catching up with my grandparents has been such a gift. This place feels like home so much to me, and I am going to PRAISE and SERVE my gracious Lord Jesus here. 

this photo’s tucked between my phone and its case

Today, August 23rd, before the sun came up, my best friend and love left with his momma for Otterburne, Manitoba. His distance feels so real now, and already I find myself wanting his embrace, his laugh, his wise words. But in all of this missing I am learning and being brought to my knees before Jesus– craving HIS arms, HIS smile, HIS wisdom. And in my earthly setting– merely a physical wayward for His indwelling– I am led continually to Johnny. Knowing right now that he is led to this new journey at Providence University makes me delighted spiritually and so I know the more I grow in Spirit, the more that DELIGHT will take over– along, perhaps, with the missing, the craving for him as my love for him increases. 

I am excited to give all that my mere humanness has to my studies in HIM and His Word… to the old that is always being made new. 

I come home from the cottage late Wednesday night. Too short of a trip, but lots to do and memories to make. Updates will be soon. Until then,

HE IS DOING A NEW THING.

THOUGHTS THURSDAY: Hot Oatmeal with Ice Cream for Breakfast 

Hi friends! Today is all about the perfect breakfast.

In my opinion, savoury breakfast is depressing. But I have always felt that way. I just genuinely don’t understand how anyone could crave eggs/meat/veggies in the morning. When I wake up, I’m all about sweet. I RARELY eat anything for breakfast besides oatmeal and nice cream… and the other day, courtesy of ___, I decided to put both together. And created a combo that is out of this world!


TO MAKE THE CREAMY OATMEAL:

In a medium pot, bring 1 cup almond milk and 1/2 cup oats to a boil. Add sea salt and cinnamon; stir one minute and reduce heat. 

TO MAKE THE CHOCOLATEY NICE CREAM:
In blender, place one frozen banana and 1/2 cup frozen mango with 2 T cacao powder and 1/4 cup cold water, and a few ice cubes. Blend until thick and creamy. 

TO ASSEMBLE:
Alternate between scooping chocolatey nice cream and the oats into a bowl. My favourite toppings include peanut butter, blueberries, and granola. The hot/icy cold combo is to die for– you won’t go back once you try this! 


Saw this on Instagram and it was very timely and really resonated with me:


I had been having stupid thoughts about the skinny soy Frappuccino I drank at work and saw this and prayed, for both forgiveness and strength. Lord DEFEAT MY EATING DISORDER IN YOUR NAME!