There is so much happening in my mind today.
Do you know those days at work? When you can’t concentrate and the millions of things in your mind cloud your conversations and outer perception? That has been me at work the past few days. I’ve been working 50 hour weeks and was confident it wouldn’t take its toll on me but it certainly has.
This morning I studied and prayed on John 17. This entire chapter moved me to tears and joy and overwhelming awe as I read my Saviour’s prayer before His crucifixion– for me. Before His death, Jesus prayed for you and I, that we might know Him and His love and be more like Him.
“Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father! The world has not known You, but I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me. And I have declared to them Your name, and will declare it, that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them.
The Lord Almighty thought only of others as He prayed to the Saviour– that OTHERS may come to know and spend all their hours praising and glorifying God. If His Spirit abides in me, I will love all others as myself.
I thought of Jesus praying this prayer, long before my human self existed and how His Spirit has filled and surrounded all since this prayer and forevermore… And as I prayed about countless things I teemed with anger when I recognized myself counting calories and thinking about how little I should eat for breakfast. I prayed then for focus and deliberation and to be granted the Spirit’s ability to perceive and love and be of right mind, to LITERALLY focus on nothing but God. And all I could think instantly was, I thought of calories as I prayed to my Lord. And Jesus… He thought of ME.
God truly shook me today. And shifted my focus. Onto people at work. Present mind in my time with Daniella– one of His most beautiful created humans in my totally unbiased opinion. Onto His Son, and may He be AAALLL. I prayed all throughout the day, His day, good and always good.
I also had a really, really awful stomach at work today. It was difficult to work through and I knew it was something not digesting. I checked the stevia is bought, because it was cheap, and realized– the first ingredient was corn malodextrin. I’d already had about 10 packets of the sweetener in the past few days.
Stevia in its natural form is extremely healthy, but corn malodextrin is a thickener that is thoroughly processed and genetically engineered– basically man-made. Literally and metaphorically distruction to the temples the Lord gave us. And I ain’t about that at all. I pray only His light is shone in my eating beliefs and habits and passion, and that I am able to eat the way Hr has shown me is good and to His glory, and not my eating disorder’s way.