Happy Wednesday!This morning started in prayer and supplication, giving my day over to the Lord and lifting my loved ones to Him along with a really good study in Ephesians.
When I came downstairs, my sister Krystal was making some sort of food on the stove. She doesn’t like to cook and has always had a very normal relationship with food and seeing her cooking immediately a washed me with thoughts that she was following some sort of plan in her head or on a diet, because that’s all I’ve ever known of meal prepping. We argued, and she was really frustrated with me for saying anything about her food but I felt so down and distracted and sad, and couldn’t explain it. The “eating disorder” anxiety welled up inside me, and I wanted to throw the breakfast Id made myself and go sleep.
But I faced the food that made me tremble then– a big serving of oats with peanut butter, a whole banana, and blueberries. I ate and noted my hunger, noted the fact that my body felt GOOD and right on the fuel.
Laura and I stopped first at the new Starbucks in our city, which many of the employees at my location have transferred to. I had a soy cappuccino while we talked, and then headed to yoga in Victoria Park, where we met my mom, sister, and Sara. The class was an hour long and was mostly just stretch, core, and balance work, but it was so relaxing.
I hung out with Laura for a while more at her house before heading out to run some errands; getting new work clothes and shoes, a few books, and a quest bar to fuel before my 6-11 close shift, which I had with a soy iced coffee before work.
On my break, I had a plain oatmeal from my work to tide me over. I clocked out at 11:30 and didn’t eat dinner till midnight, which was a major brain screwer, but nonetheless a good challenge. I had chicken breast, cucumber with a bit of peanut butter, and a plain potato. I feel really good about this dinner as it was a full plate and fueled my very hungry body in the way I would as a kid, with a homecooked type meal.
I am growing stronger each day as I submit to the Father and pray for the Spirit, falling deeper and deeper in love with His precepts and simply trusting.