Hi All! Happy Monday! Whether you spent it working, with yourself, with loved ones, I pray that it was all in and through the Lord, and that you recognized his always-present love.
1 JOHN 6-7 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
Today as I heard and easily pinpointed the tricks of my eating disorder, I thought about how backwards, twisty, and pointless it is.
Here were the steps the devil took to reel me in.
- Overheard a conversation among co-workers about eating egg whites and never eating yolks because of their higher calorie/fat content, as well as eating high protein and getting in extra shape at the gym.
- “The workouts you do aren’t enough,” says the voice, “You should be doing much more and eating much less. You used to be fat– you could be thinner than you are now.”
- Loss of focus on training at work/immediate distance (co-worker: “are you okay? You seem tired).”
And here is the ONE step I took toward ridding these often relentless voices:
I prayed to my Lord and Saviour that He would reveal to me in His perfect timing where He is calling me in terms of my focus on nutrition and workouts. And Christ strengthening me I was able to focus on delivering customer service and quality in my work day without that distraction.
I recognize now that because food and exercise have been a means through which the enemy has gripped me in the past, it is an aspect of my life I must be prayerful about, which, when I am honest with my Spirit, the Lord leads me away from focus because it is such a destruction. Because of His perfection that I am so obsessed with, I KNOW that He is capable of turning that destruction completely on its head and making food and exercise nothing but a passion that can be used for His glory– but whenever distraction is present, I have to pray for the aspect to be removed. Because here’s what is funny…
My eating disorder tells me nothing but lies.
It tells me that he will lead me to eating the very healthiest– actually, it leads me to eating next to nothing and passing out.
It tells me that I will become the very fittest– actually, it leads me to having no energy for strength workouts, let alone cardio workouts, but ends up pushing so much cardio that there is such little room for muscle development.
It tells me that I will be living such a “healthy lifestyle” through it– but my “lifestyle” can be NOTHING but Christ’s. I DESIRE nothing but Christ. This world is so frigging temporary. I want Him.
Living the ACTUAL “healthy lifestyle” that my eating disorder lies to me about doesn’t involve the things my eating disorder tells me is so shameful, like binging, lazing around, eating tons of junk food. I don’t believe in these things at all. The ACTUAL healthy lifestyle is something that I know the LORD will provide by His Grace without my flesh putting excessive conscious energy into it.
MATTHEW 6: 25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”