As I wrote on my Instagram today, I was going to write this top ten about certain aspects of my eating disorder. But I decided that I really don’t want to do that. In fact I feel less and less called to blog about it, even the more that it fights at me. So I’m taking that as it comes and giving it up to God.
Instead I’m going to do a “currently” and throw in a bit about my mindset.
Dance. Tonight was my last dance teaching shift until September and it was bittersweet because this group of girls has been phenomenal! Such beautiful and sweet kids with hearts that I’ve gotten to know!
Starbucks. Like I said I had just a brief orientation yesterday and got a coffee tasting book and have been tasting coffees galore. I am so excited and feel so called to this new journey.
Books. I’m finishing the second Out of the Silent Planet book whilst starting the third book in the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series and Lewis’ and Larsson’s writing styles are strikingly and unexpectedly similar so that has been a treat.
Movie. I also need to quickly read Me Before You because I am so excited to see this movie!
The Word. I feel entirely called to 1 Corinthians lately in studying and knowing and grasping with the Lord at my side and it has been my place of focus the past week or so. In Christ, we can do anything. Without Jesus Christ nothing we do means anything. And ultimately, what He calls us to do comes down to beautiful, joy-filled, non-judgemental and unconditional love.
Food Mindset. Last night Johnny, his brother Steve and I had dinner at a lovely couple’s house from their church and they made us a wonderful dinner. It was a quinoa chicken dish and a kale salad, and it was fantastic and nothing but a blessing! The enemy warped it so much in my mind though, saying that I ate so much, there was probably tons of “oil calories,” I didn’t need it. The voices told me it was more than I’d eaten for a meal in months and that I needed to compensate by not eating today. Those thoughts and actions s have been there today but I am lifting them continuously to God for I know He has me, and relying only on His Spirit to carry me through.
Friends. I spent the morning today was Sammy and her boyfriend Tanner which was just so unexplainably nice. We just chilled and talked and laughed and I’ve needed that time with Sam, and I absolutely love Tanner. The rest of the day was with Daniella and then dance, and packing up some clothes to sell! Extra $$.
Blogs. Loved this blog by one of my pastors Emma Richardson on the mystery of motherhood– and so much more. Also always creeping on the lovely Josee Foster— and finding so much positivity from my girl Jillian.
My Novel. It. Is. Going. To. Be. Done. By. The. End. Of. Summer. Period. 😉 I have been writing this thing for so long and in general, I’m proud and happy with it. It needs work but certainly nothing I can’t finish in three months, even though this summer is busy.
Craving. I am so craving my cottage. The lake and no cell phones and a billion new books from the library and hiking and jogging and the smell of sunshine and pine needles and hot sand and homecooked food and campfires and everyone always smiling and God’s beautiful stars and sunsets cast over the most perfect lake in the world and boats on the water and loons in the middle of the night and waves rolling a lullaby and I can’t wait to be there. I don’t know for how long/when I’ll get to be up this year with work, but the craving needs to be satisfied.