My study this morning led me to Romans 8, which I come back to often. I wrote time ago in my Bible “most raw, affecting words” beside this passage:
5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
This entire Chapter God has led me to in an incredible starting place in my relationship with Him. Starting my day with it and giving the rest up to Him left me in awe of His love.
I usually set an alarm quite early before I work, as sometimes breakfast takes me a long time, but today that worry was not whatsoever on my mind. No one could rush my time with the Lord and I could have skipped breakfast without noticing or thinking of it– though I didn’t. For me that lack of food care is a huge milestone, and I praise the Lord for His drawing me to Him so in line with my prayers.
Breakfast any way was fantastic: a big bowl of oats with cacao peanut butter, banana, and blueberries. Not out of the ordinary but great.
My stomach was still growling after so I grabbed a handful of carrots and had them with peanut butter for a quick snack.
Work was slow paced today, but really lovely. I work with awesome, funny people and love weekday shifts because it gives more opportunity for interacting with customers which I love. After the shift, I had the omelet I had with Haylie last week for lunch. I’ve been eating more at work lately and it is no longer a challenge. It’s an egg white omelet with spinach, mushrooms, and goat cheese and it is delicious.
After work, I went home and had only a few hours to prepare for my interview at Starbucks. My mom helped me out by running through some questions with me– she’s the best– and I was giddily nervous. I can’t explain how much I would love to work at Starbucks. Before the interview, I had a cucumber with peanut butter for a quick snack.
I feel the interview went really well! The manager was wonderful, so laid back and genuine and caring. We bonded over a lot of things and my nerves were calmed very quickly. I had spent a lot of time in prayer beforehand and that the Spirit would be at work in my talking and His warmth and grace abounded.
After the interview, I met Daniella at another Starbucks (LOL) and had a soy cappuccino. Daniella is literally like my sister and not having seen her all weekend was weird, like genuinely feels like something missing, so seeing her today was a necessity. As always, our time together was so wholesome and we were both so bubbly and crazy talkative and laughy and hyped on coffee. “I love this person.”
I really did not want to eat anything when I got home but knowing my hunger cues are off and that I can’t forgo dinner I had a few slices of deli turkey and carrots with peanut butter before homework and more time in the Word.
Looking back at this, it definitely seems like an awful lot of peanut butter. And while I certainly can’t call peanut butter something I’ve feared as I even ate it in tiny– and I mean like 1/2 tsp tiny– amounts when I was at my worst, it is definitely not “good” in the enemy’s eyes. It is an overt fat and therefore “too much of it will make me fat.” But it is my favourite food, one of the few things my body actually craves, and my body, designed by the Lord, knows it’s needs while a media driven eating disorder knows nothing. So disclaimer, this is not giving in to a safe food but rate he incorporating my favourite food, something that IS sort of scary, when I feel like it.
All in all, today was a blessing, and after some online course work I’m looking forward to more time in prayer. Blessings all around.