Today I really wanted to talk about my eating habits since being physically recovered and what I think has been good vs. not so good.
A lot of bloggers write forums on the idea of orthorexia– “Am I Orthorexic or Just Healthy?”
Orthorexia is defined as obsession with eating strictly healthy foods accompanied by a fear of eating deemed “bad” foods. I certainly have experienced these emotions and behaviours around food. For about a year after I restored my weight from being underweight to now healthy, I didn’t consume anything that wasnt paleo. Slowly I have reintroduced these foods. The more restrictive my mindset, the lesser my focus on important things. And while everyone thought I was “fine” and “doing so well” because I had gained weight, I was struggling so much inside.
Would I call this orthorexia? No, I don’t think so. I personally think there are too many names for mental illnesses, defining people whether they realize it or not by the way the devil has gotten ahold of them. That’s what it was– it was a way for the devil to still hold me in his clutches while I partied, went out with friends, and was more social. Slowly, the Lord guided me to introducing a variety of foods. My first muffin was only a few months ago… I’ve eaten WHITE pasta without measuring it… I’ve eaten foods I thought I could never face that actually just became “food” when I prayed and just ate them, all in His presence and with the knowledge that He already has won the battle against my eating disorder. Praise the Lord!
Still, I BELIEVE in a whole foods, healthy diet, and that this is optimal for health because it’s full of God-given and not man-made foods. I eat primarily this way but don’t freak out when it’s occasionally not possible to only eat whole foods. The more names we give to what the enemy does, the more power we give him/that he has any control over our lives.