Last night, all the girls in my program got together for a girls night. Conversations went in all directions, which was so awesome, and we talked a lot about relationships and love languages.
Now I’ve heard of these before, but have never thought too much of them. But I guess loving another person means loving where they’re coming from, their opinions, and therefore how they best receive love.
The only true way to give and receive real love is through the person of Jesus Christ, and submitted to His will for a relationship. But in a lot of prayer I’ve learned that this can come with a listening now ear, attentiveness to the Spirit of the other person.
The “Five Love Languages,” according to Gary Chapman, marital councillor, are:
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
Now, I’ve never talked about these with my boyfriend, but I think I could pinpoint his two love languages. Furthermore, I haven’t talked to him about whether he thinks this sort of study is important.
Personally, I don’t think it is. I think books and self-help tests and such are methods of skirting around the ONLY love language: Jesus. In and through Him, we learn how to provide these things in ways that are going to be received. I have definitely stumbled, but at the end of the day I never want my relationship to be one in calculating, but only one I go into prayerfully and spontaneously and with expectation of what Jesus will do.
You probably do have prominent ways in which you receive love. But let the Holy Spirit work with those. He knows what we don’t.