WHAT I ATE WEDNESDAY: Lifting the Day to the Lord

This morning I woke up exhausted even though I was well rested! I studied 2 Corinthians for a long while before doing anything else. I’ve been doing my study in 2 Corinthians every day for over a week now and don’t know that I’ll ever stop. “We carry His death as we live.” CRAZY. I also read and prayed on Psalms 5 and 6, which I read for the first time today.
For breakfast this morning I made what I can’t stop having, which was a smoothie bowl with 3 bananas this morning, lots of blueberries, and cacao powder, topped with granola and peanut butter. I got about halfway through my Linguistics essay and finished some readings before 1, when I knew I needed lunch before heading out for the whole day! I had a sweet potato with peanut butter on top. I got all ready for the day and loved my beautiful walk to the bus stop. The weather is absolutely GORGEOUS here today, and I couldn’t stop breathing in the smell of summer. Only two more days of class before exam week! I also had an incredible catch up over the phone with a beautiful girl I haven’t spoken to in a while who has grown in the Lord recently. So great.

I was meeting some friends at Starbucks and had gotten an early bus so arrived quite early, at the same time as my pastor, who I mentioned Monday. We ended up chatting for a long while about what God is doing in our lives. He was incredible. He gave so much insight on my schooling right now and is honestly just an incredible man of God that I am blessed to know and walk in the Lord alongside! When my friends came, I introduced them all to him and we had a great catch up after. These are girls I work with who are amazing and I am blessed to work with great people. With them I drank a soy cappuccino for a pick-me-up— what else is new.

After meeting with the girls I went to see Johnny, and had a really, really incredible talk. We went to Waterloo Park and just walked and talked and just communicated spiritually and openly what the Lord has been bringing us both to in prayer. We haven’t had many sorts of conversations like this yet where we talked things out and made ourselves vulnerable to what the Lord wants to do in us TOGETHER, and talking about our concerns and such, and so that was really important and good and enlightening. I’ve been spending so much time in prayer and giving us together over to the Lord and ultimately I am so grateful that God has blessed me with this man to walk alongside.

After our time together, I went to Christian Studies, where we had presentations about our volunteer placements. It was really great, but it’s been hard for me to focus on these classes some times just because lately I’ve had such a strong stirring and NEED for more fruit in my education. I’m praying about this continuously but still excited for what a double degree next year, and opportunities with Bible studies and such will bring. I came a little late for soup so I had two protein bars as a “dinner.” It was enough and not restrictive but moreso accepting what was available for me without fretting over it, which was great.

I’m now sitting with Maddie and Bethany watching the Lion King, having great, godly conversation, and eating an apple for a snack. God is so good, He is endlessly good and His saving Grace is never ending; the saving is done and we are SAVED! He has forgiven from age to age and His grace and love never fails, even for such sinners as us. That’s not an excuse for sin but moreso a reason to boast in His greatness in us. Praise the Lord through and through and blessings for the rest of your days.

 

 

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TOP TEN TUESDAY: Memories with the Birthday Girl

So, yesterday was my best friend’s birthday, and in honour of how amazing she is, I wanted to dedicate this Tuesday to my top ten of our many memories.

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Jumping on the First Bed. It’s now a tradition of ours to jump on the owner of the house’s bed each time we go to a house party. We have both been too drunk at parties, and have both been completely sober, and completely agree and theorize that the alcohol is completely unnecessary for a good time. So we jump on beds.

Making Music Videos. Our first one was when we were 13, to One Thing by One Direction, and we made many after, filming ourselves doing ridiculous things.

Cooking. Daniella is the type of person that loves to make others happy, and she always loved cooking and letting me do all the work ;). We’ve made more cookies, brownies, pasta creations, and cakes than I can count.

Star Gazing. My grade 12 year was incredible. We spent almost every weekend driving to a random place in the middle of the night, lying out in some sketchy field, looking at the stars and talking about everything you could possibly imagine.

Prom. Not only did we prom dress shop together, we spent so much of the night together, even though Daniella’s date was her now boyfriend who she was quickly falling in love with. We ditched the prom after party after about an hour, got lost, and ended back at my place with an amazing group of friends and a ton of laughs.

My Sickness. When I was diagnosed with anorexia, Daniella made me a video that she put on YouTube with pictures of us and all these kind words, and also a loooong letter about my recovery and whether or not the hospital was a good decision. She is amazing.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RRteD09OW8o

Dinner of the Month. We do a monthly dinner with our friend Insia, which is always so much fun. Daniella and I have a “thing” about atmosphere, always talking about whether a restaurant’s atmosphere is good or not.

Thick and Zesty. One time, Daniella, Emma and I went to the grocery store a little high on coffee and found a tomato sauce that was “thick and zesty” and somehow it was the funniest thing in the world. From that day forward the three of us were the Thick and Zesty girls and we have spaghetti and wine nights that change the world.

Coffee Dates. “I’m picking u up for coffee” is about a weekly text I get from Daniella. We go and sit in different cute and random shops and study and drink coffee and bask in wholesomeness. Because her presence is impossible to get enough of.

Wholesomeness. Sometimes a person is just so wonderful or the presence of someone is so great or you’re so happy and something is so infectious and beautiful and Daniella and I had a talk about these golden times and coined them as being “wholesome.” We also love the word “T’is” and “tad,” and I always but Daniella about saying “odd” way too often, as well as “really,” and she bugs me about answering my own questions with “yeah.” We also love the word “cool” not in a “trendy” sense but in the temperature sense, as well as “pure .” Sometimes we have elaborate conversations just about these great words– never anything negative with us together.

 

MOTIVATION MONDAY: Our Battle Is Not Of Flesh

I was texting one of my pastors, Brandon, earlier this evening and he said something really great. “Our battle is nothing of flesh of blood.”

Ah how true! None of our flesh means anything but our only battle is in fact one “we” can’t fight. Christmas won it! It is done FOREVER. All we have to do is accept Him into our lives, that He might carry out a Life in us in which we can expect goodness that is new and real each day. For while Heaven comes from Jesus, He calls us that His will may be done in earth as it is in heaven. Here is to praying that His will be done in my heart, my relationships, my family life, my education, my spirit. For Christ is the only way.

“Motivated to prayer by the Spirit alone.” I talked about it last week. His love poured OUT for us so that we might live in the fullness of His Grace. So that His face is all I want to see; His Son is all I want to be like; His Spirit is all I want to breathe. He is Risen indeed, FOREVER.

“Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:25

“Father, into your hands I commit my Spirit. When He said this, He breathed His last.” Luke 23:46

 

 

MY THOUGHTS THURSDAY: Orthorexia?

Hey All!
Today I really wanted to talk about my eating habits since being physically recovered and what I think has been good vs. not so good.
A lot of bloggers write forums on the idea of orthorexia– “Am I Orthorexic or Just Healthy?”
Orthorexia is defined as obsession with eating strictly healthy foods accompanied by a fear of eating deemed “bad” foods. I certainly have experienced these emotions and behaviours around food. For about a year after I restored my weight from being underweight to now healthy, I didn’t consume anything that wasnt paleo. Slowly I have reintroduced these foods. The more restrictive my mindset, the lesser my focus on important things. And while everyone thought I was “fine” and “doing so well” because I had gained weight, I was struggling so much inside.
Would I call this orthorexia? No, I don’t think so. I personally think there are too many names for mental illnesses, defining people whether they realize it or not by the way the devil has gotten ahold of them. That’s what it was– it was a way for the devil to still hold me in his clutches while I partied, went out with friends, and was more social. Slowly, the Lord guided me to introducing a variety of foods. My first muffin was only a few months ago… I’ve eaten WHITE pasta without measuring it… I’ve eaten foods I thought I could never face that actually just became “food” when I prayed and just ate them, all in His presence and with the knowledge that He already has won the battle against my eating disorder. Praise the Lord!
Still, I BELIEVE in a whole foods, healthy diet, and that this is optimal for health because it’s full of God-given and not man-made foods. I eat primarily this way but don’t freak out when it’s occasionally not possible to only eat whole foods. The more names we give to what the enemy does, the more power we give him/that he has any control over our lives.

WHAT I ATE WEDNESDAY: A Day In Prayer

This morning I spent so much time in prayer and in asking the Lord for removal of my disordered thoughts if that be His will and have been so filled and rejoicing in His goodness all morning. His faithfulness endures always and that is just too good.
I ate a good breakfast of 2 bananas and a big handful of berries with cacao powder blended into a smoothie, topped with a Luna protein bar. I worked on some papers for a bit and then packed for the day.

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Lunch before I headed out the door was a tiny sweet potato with peanut butter, and some goats milk yogurt with berries and nuts.
An hour and a half later, I arrived on campus in time for Linguistics, which my prof let us out very early from. I met Laura earlier than usual and drank a soy cappuccino for a much needed caffeine boost. We studied together in the lounge and I trekked through a couple of assignments! I also got to spend some time in the Word and catch up with a lovely friend Sarah. Somewhere in the midst I snacked on a Clif bar.
I’m about to head to the seminary to have soup for din, followed by class and a sleepover with Maddie and Bethany. I’m also looking forward to chatting with my prof tonight about my major. I’ve spoken with a few pastors now about how their education has worked and many seem to have done their undergrad in something more background that they were passionate about. My passions all must/are of and from the Lord… and I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on and praying about majoring in English, as literature is my strongest/most passionate “earthly” medium through which to see Christ’s glory. Studying English with a Christian Studies option for my undergrad would give me the opportunity to take the courses that are taught by the instructors I find most clarity through and the classes that will provide the most growth. I am really excited about this as of now, confident in the Lord and knowing that His will for me may not continue to be Laurier. I’m praying for only more spiritual discernment and grace– and also looking into summer Bible camps/Christian opportunities, because work can definitely wait.
I am happy and joyful in His victory and growing in Him and His life-BREATHING Word each day.
Prayers and Peace!

TOP TEN TUESDAY: Must-Have Nice Cream Ingredients

There are only about two different breakfasts that I eat on a regular basis: nice cream, or oatmeal.

Here, some of the most important nice cream components, in my humble– but correct ;)– opinion.

Bananas. Nice cream obviously starts with frozen bananas. Blended up, nice cream of JUST frozen bananas is actually perfect.

Cherries. My favourite combo is cherry nana ice cream. I actually love buying frozen mix of cherries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries.

Cacao. No matter what combo of fruit I’m using, cacao powder is added.

Granola. I can’t eat it without something on top, and granola is by far my favourite topping.

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Dates. Dates give a chewy, caramelly taste when blended in the nice cream, but are also great chopped up on top.

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Nut Butter. Another staple. I like to melt either peanut, almond, or cashew butter and drizzle it on top.

Mangoes. Frozen mango, banana, and cacao blended is a deliciously, naturally sweet chocolate ice cream.

Almond Milk. I usually use water in my nice cream, but almond milk is my favourite alternative.

Dried Mulberries. These make an excellent topping.

Maple Syrup. Occasionally I use it as a topper with peanut butter.

 

MOTIVATION MONDAY: Motivated to Prayer By The Spirit Alone

Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire but you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is my strength and my portion forever. -Psalm 73

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Saviour.

More of you, less of me. Always, all the time Lord lead me, I want to scream but it makes no difference from my silent prayer Lord because you hear me, you know the depths of my soul and the depths the devil has gone and Lord I want the devil gone, fully gone, indeed if that is your will may it be done. For not mine, only yours, Lord, for friendship with the world is ENMITY with You and I know that, so fill my soul with the goodness only your Holy Spirit can provide and by your grace may I go into this world of sin humbly walking in your ways. For I am but a “mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

Guide me to stay firm in YOUR Truth only, not swayed by any humans or earthy means or matter but ever steadfast in your goodness and unconditional love.

I am submitting myself, therefore, to you. Teach me your ways and do the works in me that need to be done; I want to praise you in all that I do, Christ Christ Christ be my life, for I know that if I draw near to You, You will draw nearer to me. Ah, for I know that YOU tempt no one and so if I give into temptation I am giving in to Satan; ah, I resent him. Lord save me from his and hiss evil and do what only You can do in me.

Give clarity so that I need NOTHING but You. For indeed, I need nothing but You. Bless me through my relationships with those in whom your Spirit dwells; bless my relationships with those who do not know You. Lord, make You ALL I know.

And yet I worry, the worry creeps in, and Your voice reminds me not to be afraid, not to wonder over tomorrow, but to return to You, your light and your Word, to pray and to love You with all my heart, soul, and mind. For oh how truly the sufferings of the world mean nothing in knowing of the glory soon to be revealed, this temporary world and all its “glamour” is just a blink of an eye. You blessed me with a beautiful soul to fall in love with– how deeply I fell in love, with a man who loves You and is rooted only in You and who does not lead or tempt me to him but whose love and who my love FOR only points me back to You, and the Truth of Your Word. Lead me to You, in his presence and outside of it, continually bless him with growth in you in whatever way you call him and Lord fashion me his helper fit more for supporting each day if that is your will.

I know my body is DEAD because of sin and the only LIFE I may have is because of YOU. AHHH Lord I am on fire!! I praise you to the ends of the earth; not me, may my flesh be dead to me. You intercede with “sighs too deep for words” indeed.