Happy Wednesday everyone!
The other day, a friend asked me what it “felt like” to have an eating disorder. For some reason, the fact that she asked that little question stuck with me, big time. She really cared and wanted to empathize.
I said the best way to describe it was that I often FELT like a 600 pound person. I know I’m not 600 pounds, I know I don’t look that way, and I know I’m not defined by my weight. But 600 lbs somehow becomes an emotion.
ive learned that like with so many things, the best thing to do with this emotion is pray. Pray that I recognize its meaningless, doesn’t control me, and is not real. “Do not worry about what you will eat or what you will drink.”
Breakfast. I started the day with my fav: a big bowl of oats with peanut butter, a bit of banana, and blueberries. It was perfect, and I ate it while doing some homework.
Lunch. Chloe came over in the pouring hail because TODAY IS HAYLES BIRTHDAY! We got ready together and then braved the cold and wet to meet Haylie for birthday lunch at Country Boy, where I ate a veggie stir fry over rice.
Snack 1. After celebrating the beautiful Haylies birthday, I met Laura like usual at school. I wasn’t hungry but was really tired, so I grabbed a quest bar for some extra energy.
Snack 2. I headed to the seminary where I met with another undergrad in my program to talk about the service we were running. We ran it later together, both preaching separate sermons on Isaiah 55:1-9. My parents and some friends came to worship too which was great. This was the second time I’ve prayed a sermon and went into it very prayerfully. After the service, I still wasn’t hungry, presumably because I had a big breakfast and lunch. But I knew I should eat something, so I grabbed a small soy cappuccino, some carrots, and lots of nuts.
Still tonight I have class and feel really good about my intake and the normalcy of it. I am continually praying for understanding and TRUST in the above verse from Matthew Chapter 6 on Do Not Worry. God provides, and I just need to tap into that.