Happy Monday! How is everyone?
Today I feel compelled to talk about exercise and working out post E.D. Recovery– and for the general public, very similar to a post I wrote about orthorexia in terms of how it relates to our only purpose– glorifying God.
Movement of our bodies is vital. Don’t only does it feel fantastic to get our hearts pumping, it’s proven to reduce stress and keep our bodies in shape and healthy. God clearly intended for this.
What He clearly does not intend for is exercise being the focus of our lives for worldly or self purposes, such as weight loss, looking better, or as a coping mechanism in the midst of a gripping eating disorder.
Sure, if a person is very unhealthy, has a food addiction (very rare) or other health condition and is sedentary, beginning to work out for the purpose of being more fit and respecting the temple of our bodies that is Christ’s property, that is fantastic. And if weight loss or getting more fit comes with that, that’s great. For some people, this isn’t an idol or takeaway but in fact a way for the Lord.
For others, as it was for me, it is a call from the enemy, a major distraction, and a disorder. Setting an alarm for 3am because you’ve been told your heart can’t handle exercise because you have an eating disorder in order to run on an elliptical for hours– that was me. I was a zombie. I was stuck. I was unmoving, and the enemy told me I was unstoppable. The less I ate, the more I worked out, the lower the number on my scale– I thought I was in control.
But my eating disorder was. The enemy was.
God has opened my heart and I have responded, giving my life o Him and that is all that is sufficient, ever. I have come to a place in which I am truly, truly not controlled or consumed by workouts, but more so enjoy them and look forward to them and just love moving my body, getting stronger and more flexible. Exercise no longer “triggers” me into eating too little.
When I was in the midst of eating less than 400 calories per day and exercising 2+ hours a day, I was fainting constantly, didn’t want to do anything but sleep or pace my room, and had no energy or focus. I also lost my period for 5 months, something that only happens when one’s weight is not ideal for their body or is being put under extreme/abnormal stress– ultimately a showcase of what the enemy was taking away from me through his control over me– perhaps the opportunity to have children, which has always been so important to me and something God absolutely calls me to do, raising children of Him. The more we who have experienced disorder eating and obsessive exercise submit to Christ’s will, the more we will be fit to exercise in such a way that glorifies His name.
Have a blessed Monday and week– if you have thoughts or insights on this subject, I would love to hear from you!