MY THOUGHTS THURSDAY: New Year’s Resolutions

Hey Everybody! Happy New Year’s Eve!

I don’t really have any big pet peeves or things that annoy me. But if I did, it would literally probably be New Years resolutions– depending on what they are.

There’s nothing more triggering to me than “new year new me,” people fanatic about new workouts and “eating healthy” and all that stuff. But if you’ve decided that Januray 1st is genuinely a good time for you to work on some things that are actually for you and going to be good for you, then that’s fantastic.

Mid there were some things I’d want to work on, by the grace of the Lord, they would be as follows:

Cutting out Splenda. I consume so much Splenda, it freaks me out. It also makes me bloated and just makes my stomach hurt. It’s doing my body and mental health no good.

Texting. Julia at Lord Still Loves Me summed up my thoughts about texting PERFECTLY in her Nee Years post:

“I need to work on my texting game. While I wish this was not the main form of communication nowadays, I have to be cognoscente of the fact that it is. It’s how people stay in touch with one another in the midst of our busy schedules, and if I don’t want to lose out on relationships, I need to be better at responding to text messages. It’s all about finding the balance between staying present with the people around me, and tending to the friendships that are not close in proximity.”

Yes, gal, me too.

Devotions/Bible Readings. Time spent in the Word is something I have always said is the most important thing a human can do. But do I follow along with that? Do I spend the time with God that I should? I certainly am more and more, but never, ever enough. Ever.

Thats my big list for ya! And less food thoughts, less emphasis on food and exercise in my life, but of course that is an ongoing process.

So if you are recovering from an eating disorder admins hear those “new year new me” phrases and think they apply to you, remember what YOU are focusing on this new year, and every day. This morning was just as fresh a start as this second is, and just as fresh as January 1st.

Gods Blessings today and always!

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WHAT I ATE WEDNESDAY: A Food Day I’m Proud Of

Hey guys, good evening!!

I am so happy to what feels like the first time in forever be sharing with you a day of eats that I am proud to showcase, because it is a decent amount of food for a day, all accomplished through unaltered focus on the Light, God.

Breakfast. For the first time in a few days I brought back my quest bar combo, with blueberries and tons of cashew butter blended with cacao. I had it with a glass of almond milk and one medjool date before work.

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Lunch. Work was pretty busy for a weekday! I was really, really hungry by the time I finished up at 2pm. I ate gluten-free toast at work, and then came home and cut up a cucumber paired with tons of carrots and tons of cashew butter.

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Dinner. I had time for a quick nap and grocery shopping with my mom before Cassia picked me up for a tea date. She is an incredible woman, and we had some amazing conversations! Very blessed by her. Afterwards, I went to Boston Pizza for dinner with Sammy and Chelsea, and I had gluten free pasta with tomato sauce and chicken and it was delicious.

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Snack. After dinner, Sam had to leave, but Chels and I ended up driving around and talking for hours. We told each other so much more than we ever have before, and gained insane new appreciation for each other and each other’s battles. It is so, so important to do this. To hear out our loved ones in their battles. Finally at home, quite late, I snacked on a final quest bar while catching up with Johnny and spent hours in the Word– and now here I am typing it all up!

Today was a wonderful day in that my prayer 24/7 was that Jesus’ Spirit was evident in me wherever I went. May this by our daily and 24/7 prayer, always.

Have a Blessed Night!xo

TOP TEN TUESDAY: Over the Holidays…

Good Morning! Sharing with you the top ten things I have done so far over the break.

Devotionals. Johnny gave me several books that I have torn through, and the Holy Spirit spoke to me through them I ways I can’t describe other than saying, accept Christ as your Saviour. Just do it, and pray about it.

Family Christmas. Spending time with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents is a blessing. There’s nothing like having everyone together!

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Gucci Girls Christmas. I’ve definitely already blogged about this, but having my whole dance group together could not have been more perfect. Making gingerbread houses and watching Christmas movies and taking ugly sweater pics– we’re ALL very cheesy people, and we all just go together.

New Camera. I am very blessed to have gotten a new canon for Christmas! I’m really excited to start taking photos and videos on it.

Party at Sammy’s. Sunday night my best friend had a party at her house with just about 30 people, all of whom I know and love spending time with. I didn’t drink, just enjoyed the company of amazing people, and oftentimes that’s better sober.

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Tattoo Day with Laura. Laura has been wanting o get a tattoo that says “Keep Breathing” for a long time, and nervously worked up the courage to do so yesterday. I came with her and was/am SO PROUD of her. We also enjoyed. Vegan lunch at a raw Cafe.

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Coffee Dates. I’ve been on several one-on-one coffee dates with some of my closest friends, and that is one of my very favourite things to do. Invaluable times!

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Sleeping In!! Nude said?;) I work a lot over the break, but the few days I’ve been able to sleep in have been golden.

Harry Potter. I got to watch three of the Harry Potter movies this break, one with Johnny, which are my favourite movies and series on the planet.

Wishing you all a blessed day, and rest of your Christmas break. Xo

MOTIVATION MONDAY:

Hey Hey everybodaaay❤️ Happy After Christmas! Praying you all had great weekends celebrating the Lord’s birth.

Today was a bit of a rough day for recovery. Just been dealing with some unwanted thoughts, giving them up to God but struggling nevertheless. So, in today’s motivation, I thought I’d, for myself and for anyone out there recovering, take a look at some of the things that are SO MUCH BETTER than when I wasn’t eating.

Physical Energy. I can walk without fainting or being dizzy! I have a DESIRE to have fun, go out, and DO things! I can WORK as a hostess without it risking my health.

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Mental Energy. I can engage in conversation with people, and love doing so. I can listen and learn and talk and actually have conversation and hear what the other person is saying without calories and carbs consuming my 24/7 starved brain.

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God. God can’t work through me if my body isn’t nourished, period.

Relationships. I am falling more and more for my incredible boy Johnny, and in God’s perfect timing I have come together with a man who so beautifully has shown me once again how to glorify God in all that I do. Wouldn’t be possible without recovery– without the Lord’s grace.

Food. I do enjoy food, finally. I like it, and it is more and more becoming normal. A day like today that gave me rushes of anxiety and made me want to spend hours picking apart ingredients and nutrition facts can only make me stronger– my tattoo helps.

 

School. If I wasn’t eating still, I wouldn’t be at Laurier, at the university that has so massively changed my entire life.

Helping Others. I am so passionate about releasing the stigma surrounding mental illness, and I can’t very well do that if I’m mentally ill myself. I want to be a beacon of hope for others battling eating disorders, and when they say, “How did you do it?” I’ll truly say “God. Give it up to Him.”

Have a fabulous night my loves, and see you tomorrow xx

 

MY THOUGHTS THURSDAY: On Eating Disorder Recovery

Merry Christmas Eve to everyone! Where I am it’s currently 15 Celsius and no snow, and I live in Canada. Kind of wish it was snowing, but can’t complain about the warmth!

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Today I want to talk about what Sara and I talked a lot about yesterday, and that’s eating disorder recovery and what it should and can truly look like.

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Sara and I… isn’t she lovely?

The answer to “How can I recover,” like the answer to pretty much any question you could ask, is God. That’s the short answer.

When I first met Sara, she came to me having found my blog and asked me how I recovered. Taking on a motherly role, I took her out for dinner and talked to her about the importance of refeeding, truly doing the scariest and unthinkable and eating as much as wanted, realizing that food is not the enemy, the thoughts are. Together over the past eight months, we’ve not only battled our inner demons and disorders side by side, but become best friends, and grown immensely in our faith.

Yesterday we really hashed out the knowledge and Truth that the only One who can lift this disorder from us is God. We have to die to those voices, repent, and pray. We have to die to the worldly things that are holding us down so that we can fulfill our greater purpose.

When we pray and repent and dwell in God’s presence, He moves and works on our hearts. I have seen it, and I am more recovered this day than I have ever been in my life.

On this Christmas Eve and every day, may we rejoice in the birth of Jesus Christ, that our lives are because of Him and our purpose to live for Him each day.

WHAT I ATE WEDNESDAY: Starbucks and Best Friends

Hey! Merry Christmas Eve and thanks for stopping by❤️.

Today I let the food do the talking– with no pictures. I used to be so food focused that taking photos of what I ate was such a priority, but today I forgot at each meal. This is progress.

Breakfast. I had a late night last night with my amazing man, so I ended up sleeping until 11ish! Read some devotionals, rolled out of bed an hour later, and made oatmeal with dates and blueberries and sunflower seed butter alongside a quest bar.

Lunch. After an episode of glee, trying to catch up on some emails, checking final grades and cleaning my room a bit, I had another quest bar with sunflower seed butter, followed by a grande soy cappuccino at Starbucks with the beautiful Sara, and we had one of the most incredible conversations I’ve ever had. She is such a blessing in my life.

Dinner. Sara worked at 5 and I was meeting my mom and opa for dinner at 5, so we went our separate ways, I to Swiss Chalet. I ordered a chicken teriyaki rice bowl, but Ed kicked in a little and asked for it with no nuts or wontons on top. Still, I ate the whole thing and was definitely full. We had such a wonderful dinner. My opa is the most incredibly kind-hearted man and I am so blessed by him and his wisdom. He was once a student in the same seminary I’m in now, and has always taught me so so much.

Snack. After dinner and a bit of last minute shopping, Sammy and I drove again to Starbucks, blasting Selena Gomez on the way and talking and laughing and her just cheering and brightening my life in every way possible. Daniella, Michael, and Ryan joined us afterward and I just keep thinking about how blessed I am. So many good times, so many memories! When I finally got home, it was 11:30, and I ate some cucumber with sunflower seed butter before getting back to wrapping!

May the joy of Jesus and the fullness of His love be your focus, and anyone battling an eating disorder or any battle be freed from that earthly chain in order to live out His purpose for us. Merry Christmas everyone❤️image

TOP TEN TUESDAY: Currently…

Hello world!

Can you believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve? I definitely can’t! I still have every single gift to wrap, oops…

Here’s a bit about what’s going on.

Relationships. There is an incredible man in my life and his place in it is truly a gift from God and His timing, in my receptivity to Him, my growth in my relationship with Him, and my ceaseless need to put Him first. I want to tell the whole world about my feelings for this guy but at the same time I want it just for us. It’s a crazy feeling but it’s of God and it’s good.

Friends. So so excited to be spending time with friends over the break! We’ve already had Gucci Girls Christmas, and I’ve some great times with other friends but I am just so excited for more more more. I am unexplainably blessed by the people in my life!

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Food. Crazy how much smaller a role food is playing in my life the more I grow in God. Truly miraculous. Truly given up to Him. But a good I’ve been eating a lot lately? Quest bars.

New Years. I have a burning hatred for New Years Resolutions. Partially because the whole “I’m gonna get fit and eat uber healthy because it’s January” can be very triggering, but mainly because any New Years Resolution shouldn’t be made because it’s the new year. We should strive to be our best every day.

Herbal Remedies. I’m really passionate about the natural, God-given ways we can heal sickness. To name a few powerful antioxidants for colds and digestion and overall health: turmeric and black pepper sprinkled over dinner; ginger tea; warm water with lemon. Be proactive about taking care of yourself.

Ok, so I do Have a Resolution. If I had one resolution (but not for the new year; starting now) it would be to get better at responding to texts. I think I’ve offended so many people because I think I reply but don’t and it’s terrible! I am such a fanatic about keeping up friendships but just not via text😉.

Christmas Traditions. I get to see a bunch of family soon which is really exciting! I love when all my cousins and aunts and uncles are together. Seriously the best.

Mood. Lately I have just had this overwhelming peace, in myself, in my God, in my relationships. I trust Him. I give it up to Him. He is good.

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Secret Santa. Yesterday for Christmas with my dancer babes, my secret Santa was my lovely friend Savannah, who got me a stress management colouring book and some make-up. So sweet, and I adore her.

Prayer. “Lord, may I lean not on my own understanding, and trust more and more each day in you.”