Hello lovelies! Happy Wednesday!
The past few days have been some of the most emotionally exhausting of my life. Some personal issues have taken a toll on my appetite– not related to my eating disorder. Today, though, I really stepped it up and worked very hard at eating more. It has been crazy to witness my actual ability to eat decrease in having no interest in food for a reason other than my eating disorder, and of course this has triggered my eating disorder, but luckily I think I have a handle on it, and Wednesdays are usually helpful just because I know I’m going to be posting for yall, and want to especially make sure I’m posting enough!
Breakfast. I woke up this morning at 7 and did some reading and stretching. I packed my bag for the day and made oatmeal with blueberries and pb for brekkie. Mmmm (except I forgot to take a pic, whoops).
Lunch. I worked from 9-2 (I work at a breakfast restaurant if you didn’t know), and when I finished my shift Sheena made me two poached eggs which I ate on top of gluten free toast. Again, I forgot a pic.
Snack. I was really emotional all afternoon and just was not thinking. My beautiful best friend Sammy came over and we just talked and laughed and she instantly cheered me up. Katrina drove me to class at 7 while Sam of course stayed and chilled with my fam (she is like family). I realized I hadn’t eaten enough and anxiety rushed over me. I stopped at the on campus Starbs for a soy cappuccino, reminding myself that I needed to make up calories when I got home. At class, the beautiful Mary gave me the most amazing letter I’ve ever received, about how I’m in her prayers. She wrote about how God had blessed her with me in her life and that I had so much joy to share with the world, and that she was praying every day that my traps be opened and I be set free. She is incredible, and I love this class because I have talked to all 25 people in it and all are amazing.
Dinner. Katrina drove me home and we took turns showing each other country songs! At home, I retreated to the kitchen, knowing I needed dinner, and made a turkey salad sandwich.
Snack. My stomach growled, and I knew I still needed more food. I put together some baby carrots and celery with peanut butter and am currently snacking on that with a coffee sweetened with stevia and almond milk, which will hopefully help me to try some studying done!
Thanks for all the love guys. Loss of appetite in recovery due to external things is definitely a battle, but not an impossible one.