It’s another WIAW over here as I blog at midnight after a crazy day I’m excited to share with yall!
Breakfast. I woke up at 7 am this morning and got all my things together for the whole day and made oatmeal that I forgot to take a pic of, but it was topped with blueberries, a bit of pb, goat yogurt, a few dates and cacao. Yuuuummmm.
Lunch. Work was really tiring for some reason today! My shift was 9-3, and at the end of it I nommed some more oatmeal from work that my like favourite worker ever, the most amazing cook Sheena made me (she makes it for me every day).
Pre-Workout. I bussed to the mall very quickly because I’m out of Quest bars so I picked up a few, ran a couple other errands, and then bussed to campus where I met up with Mary, Maddie, and Michelle to for a nice 45 min workout at our amazing gym! Before which I ate a DCC quest bar. I did 20 minutes on the bike, and some core work and it didn’t feel compulsive in the least.
Dinner. We didn’t have a lot of time between our 7pm class after our workout, so we grabbed Subway on the way back to Mary’s amazing dorm apartment to shower and change. I had a footlong ham and turkey with lettuce, pickles, spinach, green pepper, cucumber, and mustard.
Snack. After our three hour theology lecture, Katrina and I bussed home together and once home I knew I needed to get some more cals in! Sometimes, I really do think this is what recovery is, beyond early stages. Yes it’s about learning to recognize cravings and hunger, but most of the time those are non existent for me. But I’m obviously very good at recognizing when I simply need more food– following through is the challenge. I settled on some oatmeal, with basically the same combo of toppings and my brekkie.
Maddie. So my gorgeous friend Maddie from my theology program lives in a house ten minutes from campus. I have late Monday nights and very early Tuesday mornings, and bussing to school takes over an hour, so she very kindly is letting me stay with her Monday nights. We were gonna study last night but ended up talking for three hours straight. She is one of the strongest, most selfless people I have ever met and God absolutely blessed me with her in my life.
Embassy. So last night Sara and Maddie and I all went to Embassy like usual on our Monday nights and it was amazing as always. This week Brandon’s wife Emma did the sermon and all three of us were definitely moved. It was amazing, and I also had the chance to talk with Emma about her faith and how they got started preaching. I feel like God is really moving in my life.
The Weeknd. I’m stoked because I’m seeing him in TO in just over a week with Haylie and Chloe! SO exciting.
Laura. Right now, it’s Tuesday morning and I just finished my Spanish tutorial and I’m in the study hall with Starbucks and my beautiful friend Laura. We’ve been friends since we were little but school has brought us so much closer and I adore her. People are truly what make life mean anything.
Starbucks. Speaking of Starbucks, I got so many gift cards for my birthday! I’ve been enjoying soy cappuccinos without the guilt of overspending ;).
Theology Courses. As I keep repeating, all of my theology lectures are unreal. A three hour Spanish lecture feels like double a three hour theology lecture and I feel so blessed that my program simply feels so right.
MJ. There’s a guy at the Embassy named MJ who has gone out of his way to get to know me and talk to me about my faith and my non-denominational views and I feel so blessed to have been having more of these types of conversations over the past few months than I have in my lifetime.
Friends. I have seen every single episode of this show by the time I was like 12, but it never gets old and it’s definitely tied with Grey’s as my favourite. Whenever I get truly free time, which is rare, I often watch an episode.
Work. I’ve been feeling so good and strong and like I’m moving up at work lately which is awesome, in both my dance job and my hostessing job! I love what I do and I love being around people.
Michelle. Speaking of people, another girl in my theology lectures, Michelle, just ran into me as I’m sitting here. She’s such a light, and she, Maddie, Bethany, Mary and I are going out for dinner and to the gym before class tomorrow.
Talk with Sara. Sunday night, Sara and I went to take fall pictures for a beautiful walk in Huron Natural Area, and then sat in her car for hours drinking tea and eating pitas, having a much needed– I think for both of us– heart to heart. I love this person.
Halloween Costumes. I can’t remember if I told you or not, but Daniella and I have been planning on being salt and pepper for Halloween, but now her boyfriend, his best friend, and our other friend Josh want in, so we’re probably gonna be the cast of Grease and go all out. I’m so excited to party this weekend.
Lots of people mentioned today and I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about so many more. The thing is that there’s good in everyone. And everyone has so much to teach and enrich.
Anyways that’s my rambling for the day and I should be studying! God Bless.
An overweight woman eats a full pizza for dinner. A judgemental woman near her whispers, “No wonder she’s so big. How unhealthy.”
A quite thin woman eats a full pizza for dinner. The same judgemental woman says, “It’s quite normal and healthy to be eating that much. Food is fuel and balance is key.”
Many of us have the very wrong perception that what we eat and how much we eat is what makes us fat. This is not true.
While yes, anorexia caused me to lose a lot of weight, and yes, my night binges (tens of thousands of calories) contributed to my being “overweight,” our bodies are not computers. They run off calories, not numbers. Our bodies use pizza to fuel it. Our bodies will take those calories and utilize them. Our bodies are smart.
“Overweight BMIs” are caused by one of three things:
- Genetics. It’s true, we all have different body types. When I was underweight, I still had larger hips than anything else. My bone structure didn’t change, and neither did my body’s location preference for fat storage. A person who is naturally “overweight” may have eaten the exact same foods and amounts every day of their lives as a person who is naturally “underweight.” We all need to eat to survive, just like movement is healthy for all of us– movement is not to be approached as a method of burning calories, as again, our bodies are not computers. It is true what they tell you: you are beautiful the way you are because God created you that way.
- Binge Eating Disorder. This disorder is misdiagnosed far too often. A person with Binge Eating Disorder eats at least 4 times a week on top of a 2000-3000 calorie per day diet in excess (tens of thousands of calories). Emotional eating is not binging, it’s eating. Eating a few brownies for no reason in particular is not binging. Note the differences. This kind of excess of food from a disorder that is very rare can cause a person to gain weight beyond their natural body.
- Medication. Some drugs can obviously alter the body’s natural weight, though still not to such excess, likely, but again, this is unnatural alteration.
The point of this post is not to lay out a million statistics about weight. It is to confirm that you are okay, just as you are. You are beautiful just as you are. You are trying and in this moment, you are okay.
Blessings for a beautiful week!
Here’s something about me: I don’t procrastinate. Well, I don’t procrastinate in a lot of ways. Definitely not on homework, or birthday gifts, or figuring things out. I’ve found a way to stay organized in those ways that is now impossible for me to break.
But there are some things, I’ve realized lately, that I do procrastinate on. Some of them have been nagging me for months:
Getting my G1 license. I’m 18 and don’t have it yet. I really need to do this, but I’m afraid of falling it.
Calling my Therapist. It’s been a few weeks since I last saw her, and I haven’t called to make an appointment. Honestly, I think I’m afraid, because when we talk it’s, of course, about some of the things that make me most anxious in the world, and I stress so much.
Talking to a Friend. I have a friend who has been so for years that I have betrayed in a way I can’t even live with myself. I constantly pray about what to do with this situation. I have been for months. It has been this horrible little bruise welling inside of me every day and it’s made me cold toward a lot of people and yet I can’t bring myself to right this wrong. It’s selfish and horrible.
So yeah, I procrastinate in a lot of big ways. For one thing, its impossible for me to not be busy. I am busy all of the time, whether I’m working or catching up with a friend of blogging or studying or going out, I’m always on the move and I thrive on this. But in the end, socializing and being around friends and having that connection is so so vital. Even if you feel burnt out when you could be out doing something, while it’s okay and perfectly good sometimes to take a break, it always feels better than you think it will to get out and have that contact. God speaks to us through others, remember.
Have yourselves a fantastic weekend! Time is flying. Xx
Ah I really don’t know if I’m emotionally prepared for all that is want to get out in this post so bear with me.
Breakfast. So for breakfast I had a new cereal, this cinnamon buckwheat stuff, with peanut butter, almond milk, sliced banana, and blueberries. Sooooo good. I ate it while surfing instagram with some tea in my new mug before work.
Lunch. Work was really good today; it was just one of those good days. I felt like I did my job well, socialized a lot with customers and my co-workers, it was just good. Midway through my shift I ate a dry piece of whole wheat toast. One of my favourite cooks named Sheena always makes my oatmeal for me, and she calls me Mermaid Hair. She is honestly such a doll and makes my day. She inspires me to make others’ days.
Anyway, Sheena made me oatmeal with berries for lunch before I rushed for the bus to school.
Snack. I stopped outside Booster Juice to pick up a quest bar, knowing I needed more food and more variety. It hit the spot! I ate it on my walk to the seminary, where Maddie, Bethany, Mary, Rodney and I ran our second worship service, which was beautiful. We led discussions on how God calls us every day, and it was so personal for me. Throughout the service, as I often find myself doing in church, I was counting calories. So specifically, too. Thinking about food. Fearing so strongly that little wafer dipped in wine that I would have to eat in a bit. God stopped me short every time and said PRAY. Focus on me and stop listening to this worldly disorder who knows nothing. I prayed to the God that I love and stomped on the eating disorder that I don’t.
Dinner. Maddie, Bethany and I hadn’t finished our readings for our 7pm lecture, so we read and talked and laughed over dinner. I picked up a new salad from Starbucks, which was really good!
Snack. Class was awesome, as always. This is definitely my favourite class of the week! I asked a lot of my big questions tonight and got so many answers, but I think I’ll save all that for a thoughts post, maybe tomorrow! Katrina drove me home and as always we laughed and blasted country music the whole way. She is an awesome person. I am currently snacking on some oatmeal with peanut butter and cacao powder and blueberries as it was all the sounded good right now.
Awesome day! Blessed and grateful and feel like my food intake has improved, though I know it still needs to be higher. God Bless always!