I was strongly debating whether to write out this post today, because, in the past several days, I’ve had a significant slip in my recovery. I don’t quite know why, but it’s something I’ll be working through in therapy! In any case, I thought it might be beneficial to show what an insufficient amount of food looks like. Please let me know if this is triggering and be reminded that my goal is to show what is not okay. If this isn’t something you’d like to see in the future, I’d appreciate a comment!
Breakfast. I had oatmeal but what else is new! A delicious bowl with peanut butter, goat yogurt, cacao powder, and strawberries. I’m saving the picture because the full tutorial will be posted on my YouTube tomorrow! Stay tuned!
Lunch. After some room renovating, taking care of university business, and writing, I realized I should eat something! The reason I felt good about this in my recovery is that forgetting to eat is nearly impossible! Even in the thick of anorexia, we think about food all day, we just choose not to eat. I have had difficulty in recovery with constant food thoughts, and so spending a morning at home without them and thinking hours later, Oh, it’s time to eat, felt pretty good. The problem was the anxiety I felt, but around 2 I had a piece of whole grain toast with a bit of tuna and celery.
Snack. My beautiful friend Zoe texted me and we drove around and blasted music and I met her new puppy! We stopped for Starbucks and I got a venti soy cappuccino.
Dinner. I was really productive throughput the afternoon, running errands and planning! In general, I get anxiety when I have to relax. For dinner I ate some carrots with beef tomato sauce.
Snack. Feeling stupid and knowing that my eating has been weird today, I just prepared some baked blueberry cacao oats with peanut butter and goat yogurt to eat with Masterchef. And later tonight, Chloe and Haylie are coming over, and they are always so positive to be around. I am blessed by beautiful friends!
I really apologize for the bit of negativity today ladies and gentlemen, but at the same time I thought it good to point out; recovery isn’t always smooth sailing. There are downs. There are battles. There are bad days and bumps in the road and struggles. But what doesn’t change is our power and ability to charge the next moment and say, I can do better.