I’m writing this on the road to nashville! And as I do, I can’t help but feel incredibly grateful for my amazing family. We all talk, and laugh, and we take turns playing music and in between rounds of songs, we ask a group question and everyone answers it. I’ve been reading, eating good snacks, and writing, and daydreaming. I LOVE road trips! Today I was inspired to write about making things happen; planning for future NOWS. The thing about planning future nows, though, is that we are then required to use old future nows on the future. That’s a bit of a mind warp.
Over the past nearly two years of recovery and lapses, I’ve gotten pretty good at mindfulness.
Ninth grade was a really painful time for me, so much so that I’m pretty sure I blocked a lot of it out. This entire year, I experienced periods of severe night eating. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I ate well and normally through the day, and woke up to binge at night, only to cry for hours afterward. I smiled at school but felt like I was bulging out of my skin. Everything I ate, I thought about. I spent a year and a half in this disordered cycle.
Whether or not you have a mental illness, we can all relate to time spent thinking about or doing things that we say we will get help with SOME OTHER TIME. I did so every day for a year. Each night I promised myself the next would be different. I didn’t know that my disorder was larger than me, and I needed help for it.
And needing help is so, so okay. We all do sometimes.
Here are some things that have helped me to savour each moment and soak up my life, which I now love the ups and downs of.
Landmarks. What’s coming up that excites you? Let that excitement fuel your every day. For me, right now, I’m so excited for the release of Paper Towns on July 24th, which I’m seeing with Sara! Definitely get excited for these days, but tell yourself that every single day can be like that.
Don’t Leave Room For Boredom. I personally have spending time at home, so I rarely do! This summer, I make sure I am adventuring and getting out and being independent every single day. Instead of leaving a huge gap of time for lazing, I plan a specific couple hours here and there for relaxing– my personal idea of which is netflix and snacks.
Everyday Goals. I have a lot of summer projects, but rather than planning when they’re going to get done, I just work at them! Like redoing my room, improving my ballet skills, less body checking, scheduling all my own appointments, etc.
Meditate. I can’t even express enough how much this had changed my life. I am so used to starting the day with prayer, and a blessing list. I change it up and talk very personally with God so that it’s not a chore, but this sets the tone for my entire day.
Call Upon Breathing. When a worry or thought that is out of your control pops into your mind, have a prepared meditation to get rid of it. It could be prayer, or as simple as asking yourself, “Can I do anything about this right now?” if the answer is no, then let the issue leave you without dwelling. If the answer is yes, consider any options and get the problem dealt with immediately.
Right now, I’m somewhere in the middle of Ohio, and we’re listening to Raining on Sunday by Keith Urban. My butt hurts and I just finished my coffee and I’m already sad about it. My sisters and both singing and my parents are talking and I am writing and life is good, right now.
What are you doing right now?