MY THOUGHTS THURSDAY: Making the Most

Greetings!

The beautiful Sara and I had plans to go to the beach today. Being the forgetful person I am, I forgot that I had therapy at 4 o clock, so a beach two hours away would not work out. Instead of having a do nothing day, we made an adventure of our own city, and found a beach just 15 minutes away from our houses, called Holiday Beach.

IMG_20150730_134550 We had a beautiful day, talking about really thought-provoking things, relating even deeper than we already do, swinging on swings, doing yoga on the beach, swimming in a beautiful pond, and sun bathing. We spent the car ride home singing at the top of our lungs to High Valley, went to our individual therapy sessions– Sara booked one, too– and met up again for cafe blogging.IMG_20150730_145706

On beach days, and in all aspects of life, it is not difficult to make the most of what may seem like a hindering situation.

Sara has shown me this in the six months I’ve known her. I have seen her cruel disorder knock her down, and she herself always finds a way to learn something or challenge herself.

We both thought and talked a lot today about this. God often tests us in ways that we don’t perceive as testing but as punishment. In every storm, there is sunshine to follow. I truly believe that prayer, faith, and commitment to God brings new and abundant life.

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It took years of cruel eating disorders for me to appreciate and love my body. Tears and heartache were involved in the end of a relationship that I now know was not right. And in every trial with my eating disorder, I am able to help a beautiful, selfless, and talented soul, and give her advice. And this moment is pure bliss.

She's workin on her own brilliant blog.
She’s workin on her own brilliant blog.

As humans, we have a tendency to be impatient. We want good things now. We don’t want to suffer any crap. But would any of the highs of our lives, the love and passion and adventure, be anywhere near as appreciated without the struggles, the bad days, and the cracks in the glass?

Last night, I was pretty disappointed when I remembered my therapy appointment. Tonight, I’m looking back on a blessing of a day.

Let it be. How will you take on your next trial?

For a similar rant from my gorgeous soul sista, follow backtobeingsara.wordpress.com right now!

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WHAT I ATE WEDNESDAY: Friends and More Friends

Today I was out all day, and I did wonderful things with even more wonderful people.

Breakfast. My day started with an early alarm. I was exhausted, but excited to meet up with Daniella, Jake, and Kodie for breakfast at my work! We bussed to Cora, and had a great time. I drank a bunch of black coffee and had an egg in a skillet with veggies home fries, and plain rye toast.

Old photo, same meal.
Old photo, same meal.

Snack? Daniella, Kodie and I bussed from Cora to Starbucks, where I had a venti soy cappuccino, and ate all my foam with the help of a green straw, thank-you very much. Kodie, Daniella and I had an awesome time together as we always do.

Dinner Number 1. From Starbucks, I walked to the mall to meet up with my friend, Nour. Nour is one of those beautiful and rare sort of people, and I am very lucky to know her. Catching up was fantastic! I bought a really cute new blouse and we walked and talked for hours. Before I knew it, it was dinner time, and I knew I hadn’t eaten nearly enough for before dinner. When Nour left, my friend Zoe picked me up in her fantastic truck, and we dined at one of my favourite restaurant, The Works. I got a veggie burger with avocado, salsa, eggplant, and onions with broccoli.

IMG_20150729_180444Dinner Part 2? Snack? I don’t know. After great conversation and some car jams with Zoe, I came home just in time for Masterchef, and also very hungry. In order to get calories in, and also because it’s delicious, I made 2 banana ice cream with cacao powder, melted dark chocolate, dates, and peanut butter. It was delicious! After Masterchef, Sara came over and we chatted exuberantly and excitedly about our beach day round 2 tomorrow! I am so excited already.

Bedtime Snack(?) At around 10:30, Daniella texted me wanting to do something, so we picked up Jake and Kodie and literally just chilled together, talking and laughing and skipping in the park. I am blessed, beyond blessed to have these people, each of them friends I saw today and so many more. When I got home at 1:45 am, I knew I still needed more food for the day, and my grumbling stomach wasn’t all I needed to know that! I made a potato and grabbed some celery sticks and slathered both with peanut butter.

Today was filled with good people, life-changing and life-long memories. Did I freak about how my food wasn’t “structured?” Did I stress about when’s and what’s? A little bit of both. But was I present with my friends, happy, and excited about each new adventure? 110%. That is my definition of recovery. Today was about friends, not food– akthough, I certainly thank the yummy food for fueling me for fun with my friends.

TOP TEN TUESDAY: Writer’s Block?

Good Afternoon Everyone!

In the past couple days alone, I’ve suffered severely annoying writer’s block. It has been severely annoying, yes. This isn’t to do with my blog as I plan these posts well I’m advance, but with the novel I’ve been working on for years and just want to FINISH! But I know that patience is so important, particularly with writing.

Anyways, despite this block, I’ve certainly got a top ten for you today!

Movie. Paper Towns!! I’m seeing it for the second time today as I am a firm believer in seeing wonderful movies more than once. I love movies, and I loved this book! PLEASE go see it.

Realization. You can’t read into things! We can’t expect that our destiny is held in a dream, or a sign, or something that seems too coincidental. I strongly believe that everything that happens is a part of God’s plan, but each little sign may be part of a broken road. God’s plan is bigger than the one we try to lay out.

Beverage. Venti soy cappuccinos from Starbucks! I have eased my way once again into drinking speciality coffees. Anorexia loves to convince me that I prefer it black, but I do not. I don’t think many people do.

Club. “Dinner of the Month Club!” Now, just this year, I have become addicted to giving names to “friend groups.” I am soon going to write up a post solely on these groups and how they’ve impacted my life. Dinner of the Month Club is the newest to be named, and it includes Daniella and another wonderful lady named Insia.

We wrote a jingle in the car called Dinner of the Month Club, laughing hysterically.
We wrote a jingle in the car called Dinner of the Month Club, laughing hysterically.

Workout. Squatting, I aam squatting and I am proud of my squatting! I have learned that for my mental health I need to be careful with cardio, but anything that means gaining muscle is actually challenging mentally, because I fear getting “bigger.” But nope, I am actually loving the burn.

I do occasionally run, too.
I do occasionally run, too.

New Food. Raw Tuna! Dinner of the Month Club went to a fancy schmancy restaurant and enjoyed a super hot waiter and raw tuna salad.

Daniella: "Cassie we're used to you taking pictures of all your food, but the flash is a little much."
Daniella: “Cassie we’re used to you taking pictures of all your food, but the flash is a little much.”

Song. Where Are You Now by Justin Bieber. I just play this all the time. I can’t get sick of it.AS love him.

Shows. The only TV I watch within a week is the Bachelorette (now over) and Masterchef. On Masterchef I love Derek and Katrina, and I am SO happy Kaitlyn and Shawn ended up together.

Little Goal. I want to master Fur Elise on the piano this week! By master I mean adding dynamics and just making it all sound right.

Fun Fact. I love the name Buckley for a boy. Next to Andrew, it’s one of my favourites, but I have yet to meet a guy or girl that would name their child this. What do you think of the name?

Already my writers block is diminishing. I might sit down with my novel before aim off to see Paper Towns again. Happy Tuesday!

MOTIVATION MONDAY: Clothing & Beauty

Welcome to another Motivation Monday over at cassiescookery!

Today I’m talking about style and beauty.

IMG_20150723_173723_editMy friends will all attest to the fact that I am no make-up artist, and that I wear the wrong things for the wrong occasions. I guess you could say it’s a bit of a signature. But I can tell you that I have a lot of fun dressing up, or dressing down, shopping, and designing outfits. So much so that I plan my clothes for the week in advance.

Some #ootd
Some #ootd

IMG_20150630_134854Most significantly, I have learned that outer confidence and pride comesfrom within, as completely corny as that sounds. In addition, I attribute a lot of my clear skin success with acupressure, homemade cleansers, and baths. Try a baking soda scrub, or a wash with aloe. Wash your face, but don’t think about it so much. Don’t use cleansers from Clean and Clear or other brand names that beg for your money and are man made and not invited for the purpose of being put on our skin. Love yourself by thinking about what is pure and natural for your body. This applies in so many aspects of our lives! Coming into your own and being exactly who you are starts with natural and wholesome living, and ends with a passion that exceeds all expectations– societal, and the ones that come from within. Presenting yourself in a manner that makes YOU feel good results in a host of benefits.

MY SKIN CARE

Moisturizer. Coconut oil. Just a little bit all over the face. No, it doesn’t make your skin oily.

Scrub. Water with lemon juice and baking soda.

MY HAIR CARE

My eating disorder took away much of my hair health, but I’m getting it back, slowly but surely. I use argan oil in the morning and don’t brush it. Hahahaha.

MY STYLE

To sum it up in one sentence? Retro girly almost always wearing a skirt even in the snow bohemian modern chic. I am strongly opinionated, though, that a person should never, under any circumstances, feel defined by one statement or thing or factor. But that’s a rant for another day.

I’m off to read in the sun for a bit! Enjoy your Monday and do whatever makes you happy.

MY THOUGHTS THURSDAY: Atmosphere

Well hey there? Once again it’s technically Friday, but I am really feeling the late night blogging lately, and am often too busy during the day!

Today I wanted to rant a bit about atmosphere. This is something my best friend Daniella and I talk about 24/7. It seriously comes into conversation, like, extremely often.

Lunch at The Works.
Lunch at The Works.

Daniella and I have funny conversations about how, no, we can’t eat in Pita Pit because it doesn’t have good atmosphere, and it’s funny how much we agree on these things. Meanwhile, Starbucks is a perfectly suitable place to eat in.

Again, when we talk about it, we both end up agreeing that in the end, it’s the people that make the place. Atmosphere has so much to do with the people you’d expect to meet in a certain place, and I think there’s something so wonderful about a little coffee shop, the sense of homemade goodness, all those sorts of things.

We always have the biggest smiles on our faces when we’re around each other. Honestly, I could say that for so so many people in my life. I’m councelling today, I talked about how I have certain incredible relationships that make my eating disorder almost disappear. It is those relationships, my councillor reminded me, that I want to keep. That I deserve, and that are going to move me forward in life. Those relationships are ones that I have the opportunity to make something great out of. We can gain so much perspective just by trying to see things in the eyes of another, and I love that idea in itself.

Atmosphere is good. People are better.

WHAT I ATE WEDNESDAY: Always on the Go

Happy Thursday Morning? Well, in my mind, it’s still Wednesday night, but call this 2:03 am what you want.

In my mind, it’s time for another What I Ate Wednesday! If you aren’t familiar with this type of post, the rundown is that it’s all about recognizing strengths in Conquering disordered eating, at least that’s what I am to do.

Let’s GO!

Breakfast. I woke up this morning, once again, with an itch to move my body, so I enjoyed some cardio and music. I also read and worked on a piano piece while carting my breakfast with me; a full cup of oats baked with blueberries, cacao powder, maple syrup, and peanut butter.

IMG_20150722_105904This is a very substantial breakfast, but as I was doing my make-up, I just wasn’t satisfied! I craved dark chocolate. It’s as simple as that– and also so hard. But I listened to thst craving and grabbed a handful of dark chocolate from the pantry.

Lunch. The first part of my day was by the far the least adventurous of my entire summer so far! I went to the dentist for a cleaning, to a funeral for a friend’s grandpa, and then out to a cafe with my grandparents. No time for food until that point! I sat with my fam and had a peanut butter banana smoothie from the cafe.

Dinner. After the smoothie date, my best friend Sammy, friends Tanner, Justin, and Ryan drove to Toronto for the TFC soccer game (while, Sam drove, I jammed to music with her and kept her fabulous company). We stopped for food on the way, and I got a pits with hummus, cucumber, lettuce, pickles.

IMG_20150722_173519The game and road trip were great. We came home tired, and all decided to netflix before falling asleep.

Snack. I got home at 1:30 am with a grumbling tummy and grabbed a banana, some carrots, and a full quarter cup of peanut butter and brought it to bed. I also went back for more carrots. This is a huge deal for me, because “night eating” is a huge fear. Years ago I suffered night eating syndrome, and that all just spiraled into different disorders. But, eating after midnight is completely normal, 100% okay, and delicious, as well as more special somehow. Especially with peanut butter involved.

IMG_20150723_010737There you have it! A full, busy day of eats. Conquer. Do not let anything get in the way of your goals.

TOP TEN TUESDAY: Featuring the Lovely Natalie

Happy Tuesday everyone! Today’s Top Ten Tuesday features a close friend of mine, by the name of Natalie Kuhl (that’s pronounced COOL, and she is). I’ve talked about her in several posts, and she was the first new person I met in freshman year of high school, or ninth grade, as we Canadians put it. Natalie is a dedicated, kind-hearted soul, and we are alike in many ways. In any case, today we’ll be splitting our current top ten to create a surefire list.

CASSIE’S TOP FIVE

Outfit. I’ve been slightly obsessed with polka dots. I have so many polka dotted clothing items, and I think I’ve been overdoing it lately.

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Hangout. Dates. I love days that are spent very much like my day today has been! Cute, intimate dates, chatting with people. Natalie and I got breakfast this morning, and are now blogging in her kitchen. Relaxing, but with good company, is vital, especially in the summer.

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Change. I ombred– wow, that word looks really odd– my hair! I’ve been talking about dyeing my hair for so long, but this is the first time I’ve actually done it, and I’m quite happy with it! TAKE RISKS.

Mantra. “Follow Christ, and everything else will come.” This is truly such a simple task that we as humans, and therefore sinners, complicate. But, it’s something I remind myself of every single day. It is remarkably true.

Ending. I finished Orange is the New Black! Verdict: Season 3 was my least favourite, but I LOVE Ruby Rose (who doesn’t, though?). I also am really disliking Piper, and growing more fond of many of the characters that I used to not like as much (Red, Alex, Pennsatucky). My favourite thing about this show is that I generally fall in love with the prisoners and hate the guards, and I think that’s a very clever metaphor on many aspects of life.

NATALIE’S TOP FIVE

Relationships. Lately (as always) I’ve been so thankful for those I love. I consider myself the luckiest person on the planet (wow, that sounds pretty cheesy…or “gouda” as Cassie and I would say) to have been blessed with the people in my life. One of those wonderful human beings is the author of this blog, Cassie Wolfe. She’s selfless, kind, and honestly like a sister to me, and we always have such a great time together. I’m so lucky to have also, my boyfriend Kodie Williams — funny, charming, endlessly supportive and generous. Also is my beautiful family, who is there for me through everything; among so many others.

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Expression. I’ve always loved writing, how one can easily paint a picture with just a few words on paper. Lately I’ve also been getting into sketching simple drawings, and this in itself is so relaxing. Expression in general, through whatever medium I choose, just keeps my creativity going and I’ve loved the chance to enjoy it more during the summer.

Song. “Hit the Road” by Waterloo Revival. It’s a country song (I owe my obsession with country music to Cassie, of course) that talks about jumping in the car, choosing a random place and just driving away to find adventure with someone you love, which is something I’ve always wanted to do.

Travel. This year I’ve been given the opportunity to travel so much. I went down South with my family, toured Italy with some of my best friends and a group over March Break, and went to Chile for a mission trip with a class at my school (and, it turned out, Kodie too). I have gained a thirst and appreciation for travel and have learned so much through these trips. I’m so very grateful for this.

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Word. Nostalgia. I almost want to get a tattoo of this word, I love it so much. To me, it means the happy feeling you get when you look back and remember all the things you’ve done, places you’ve been, people you’ve met and moments that have happened. I am constantly nostalgic, and it has become a way to help me look back and be joyful with all I’ve experienced, yet also use this joy to have more wonderful experiences in the future.

I want to thank Cassie for giving me the opportunity to write on her blog, it’s been refreshing and fun and honestly makes me want to write my own!