Happy Long Weekend, Friends!
What have you gotten up to this weekend (long or not?)? Mine has been pretty chill I have to say, in a much-needed way.
Today I had my first “lounge-around-the-house” day in I think over a year. I actually can’t recall EVER having a day like this since I moved out (two years ago), and I can’t say I planned on it.
What actually happened?
I tried to do homework, to go for a run, to work on articles, to write letters, to deep clean the kitchen, and each time I was met with something I haven’t experienced in years:
I have only ever experienced crippling anxiety surrounding food. I have never experienced it elsewhere. But today, it was as if I couldn’t *do anything,” or else I became so distraught and anxious. I never cry, but I cried.
All I could think of and all that was on my heart was a text from my dear friend Sarah: Maybe the Lord is trying to tell you you need rest.
I had always seen days off as opportunities to work. And I think it has been my subconscious way of distracting myself from something that has scared me for whatever reason: the truth of some of my own thoughts and fears.
And so, I had no choice but to confront those today, with and through Jesus.
Exodus 20: 8-10 And He said, “My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest.
There is rest that is relaxing in bed with Netflix, and there is rest that is in Him. I spent some real, whole, previously avoided time with the Spirit of God, and learned the beauty of His rest once again.
A rest truly unlike any other. In the presence of my Saviour, I learn eternal things, and I know true joy. I am immediately calmed from these anxieties.
They stem up again, but even when they try to attack, I KNOW that my identity lies not in what I do, but in what HE’s already done. Thank the Lord!
I learned today how I can add some true and quality rest to my daily routine, and I am for once EXCITED by that, knowing that it’s for my good because it’s from Him!