faith, freedom, food

Tag: #write

“Feeling Fat”

“Feeling Fat”

“My mom made me do Zumba with her the other night because she was feeling fat and didn’t want to work out alone.” I was startled by how casually my 10-year-old hip hop student told me about her Zumba night with her mother. “You eat […]

Church is Monday-Friday: On Prioritizing

Church is Monday-Friday: On Prioritizing

In storybooks and seasons past, “Church” is seen as a service to attend for one boring hour on Sunday mornings in order to “keep right” with a distant God who might otherwise look sourly at us from His lofty place above. I think, when Christian […]

The Power of a Friend Like Alicia: Three Things To Absolutely Always Be Doing, Everyday Period.

The Power of a Friend Like Alicia: Three Things To Absolutely Always Be Doing, Everyday Period.

The buzz of my alarm greeted my ears this morning at 5:30AM, and I found myself instantly missing waking up with the sunrise time on the daily for work.

As I have transitioned out of a three-and-a-half-year period of working at coffee shops just this past week, it has not taken long for me to realize how much I will miss barista-ing– how much I miss, and feel called to, tangibly serving people. Many of my most precious relationships have been formed with me on the serving side of a coffee shop counter, and I am forever passionate about the way God can work through these little encounters.

Alas, though, this morning’s early start was not welcomed by coffee & customers, but by church family & prayer: equally, if not more, a blessing. My church, C3KW, hosts morning prayer every Wednesday at 6:30AM to spend time in the Word, to pray for each other, to pray for our city, and to pray for our church.

This morning, I was overwhelmed by the sheer blessing of this community, and its commitment to seeking God’s will and heart first and foremost. And while the past couple of weeks have been, for me, emotionally and spiritually exhausting, I was convicted that this morning was not about that, but felt heavily called to focus on the steadfastness of my God.

I’ve been thinking so much about the fact that what our society deems as the “highs” and “lows” of living are really good at testing our faith and identity in Jesus, who NEVER changes. Am I rocked or is my spirit shaken because I’m uncertain of my next career move (or insert circumstance of suffering or uncertainty)? If my entire identity is in Jesus, then no, I should not be.

And His Spirit made that true in my life and heart this morning. I am filled to the brim with joy because of who Jesus is, alive in my life and working all things for the good of His Kingdom.

The eyes of all look to you,
    and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand
    and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

PSALM 145:16-17

And when, after prayer, my dear friend Alicia asked me if she could buy me a coffee, I felt stirred and overcome by the need to chat with her.

We can be so selfish. But when we allow the Spirit to give us His eyes, He often points out opportunities and people and pathways we were otherwise blind to. Time in prayer only helps us to be more in tune with what He is ALWAYS doing.


After a couple minutes of refusing her gift before submitting to the generousity, it was over a much-appreciated blonde roast that I told Alicia to forgive me if I was inarticulate, but that I needed to get my own thoughts out of the way because the Lord was speaking loudly to my spirit about her.

Since I first met Alicia at church, I have felt a deep connection to her; a feeling that we were similar.

And this morning, God showed up and reminded us both that we were firmly rooted in Him. That with our identity in Him, we could not be shaken.

We prayed against lies that had been believed in both of our lives in very different circumstances, but lies just the same. And Truth, unmistakable Truth, Truth in the Word of God that cannot be argued with, came in and set the record straight.

The ambiguity is uncanny, I know. But the point remains that the only way to retrain bad thoughts is to replace them with God’s Truth.

Which, guess what? Says that He is trustworthy in ALL of His promises; upholds ALL who fall; has compassion on ALL He has made; is slow to anger and rich in love. Is most worthy of praise, and whose greatness cannot be fathomed (Psalm 145).

In a matter of a morning, my mindset about my circumstances has been radically shifted by the God who is alive today in Jesus. I mean wholeheartedly that my joy is complete in Him… and He’s made it real in my life.

A deep “real” that has starkly reminded me of three things that I believe we are each called to do every day as human beings “in the world, but not of it.”

  1. Get yourself in THE WORD. Get lost in it again and again. I don’t care if you’ve never opened a Bible or if you’ve read it cover to cover fifty times. Absolutely soak yourself in it. Don’t know where to start? As a wise mentor of mine once said, “Soak yourself in the Psalms.”
  2. Practice intimacy with THE PERSON. The God of the Bible, the God of Christianity, is just as alive today as He was 2000 years ago in the flesh. Today, He is the Holy Spirit. If you haven’t already, invite Him into your heart, and then get to know Him as fully God and fully human; as your best friend, Father, Creator, Saviour, Shelter, Light, “I AM.”
  3. Be in community with THE PEOPLE. His heart is all about His people. We are the reason He came, suffered, and died brutally. It is unfathomable, unstoppable love; and, as His body, we are called to share that love with others. In addition to serving His people through our own unique gifts, we are blessed to be filled up by others; interceded for; and loved on. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” PROVERBS 27:17

I pray today that unshakable Truth would absolutely permeate your life today, reader: the one who wrote you into existence and calls you by name each and every day knows a thing or two about it.

For My Sister on Your Birthday

For My Sister on Your Birthday

My Sweet, special sister, 18 never looked so beautiful. My sweet pea, you have such a fiercely loving heart. You have always had this beautiful compassion for people that translates to the way you interact with people. I have watched you feel so deeply and […]

A Morning with my Best Friend

A Morning with my Best Friend

Morning. Not stupid early, but not late morning, it’s 8:30am and your eyelids open after a solid, undisturbed 8 hour sleep. You smile to yourself, feeling that euphoric, passionate, life-is-good-because-God-is-good emotion that translates to excitement to spend time with Jesus. You know He’s going to […]

Trusting in the "Delay"

Trusting in the "Delay"

Much of today’s musings are inspired by a wonderful message preached by Pastor Mike Rutledge  
at Risen City church yesterday, where Jesus met me in my own worries, stress, and anxieties and revealed newness to me as His Spirit does, starting when I so loudly heard His voice that it was deafening, above all and any other sound: “I have promises I’m in the middle of working out.”
Now, to get very real here, when I say I so loudly heard His voice, I don’t mean I heard an audible-to-the-ears sound. I mean His Spirit, unlike mine, but that I could physically feel the presence of, as well as spiritually, convicted my heart of this matter to the point that I felt I couldn’t stand. I sat to pray and as I did I only heard more from Jesus, who promises His Spirit is no different from the living Jesus, whose presence is palpable and who promises to show up where two or more call on His name with genuine hearts.
Gently I received the peace of Truths I did not deserve to hear. About what He is in the middle of doing, in His timing. That when I feel like something has been “missed out” on, Jesus never missed it. That very thought of Him “missing” or “forgetting about” something part of His creation is laughable!
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Healing and miracles and even more simply clarity don’t always look the way we think we want them to. If you have ever been swayed from reaching out to the Creator of the Universe because you feel like “He hasn’t done anything for you,” a good place to start would be asking yourself what gave you the right to take such a position of deserving.
The Christian faith is about believing that Jesus came when He didn’t have to to suffer in this life and death on the cross because He loved us. To pay the penalty that should have been ours. In His perfection, He suffered the penalty for sin, and, in being God, He owes us absolutely no promises, and no miracles. And yet, because of the very nature of our gracious God, promises and miracles He chooses to bestow.
So after receiving from Him a little nudge that, No, He hadn’t forgotten about xyz, He was working it out in His timing and all I needed to do was give Him space and trust Him, I experienced weight rising off my shoulders as I scribbled down the prayers and promises.
And after hearing from the Spirit, Mike delivered the message on his heart for the church about the waiting periods in our life, how we often question them, and how, really, they’re such a part of the healing. In fact, they are the healing.
Maybe God is in the middle of completing your testimony because His plan for someone else is to learn from some of your stories.
Maybe He’s about to initiate change that wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for the trial.
But here’s the maybe not: the definitely not: Since He’s God of the universe, He has not forgotten about xyz, kicked it/you aside, or grumbled, “ah, well, they missed their chance.”
Frankly: God and His Kingdom came much before you, and you were created to submit to Him for a greater purpose. Not to pose of Him that He submits to you. 
He only asks of us that we trust Him, engage in relationship with Him, and follow Him.
It’s the only life to live!

UPDATE: Excitable Hellos, Tearful Goodbye, Seasons Changing

UPDATE: Excitable Hellos, Tearful Goodbye, Seasons Changing

Hello Friends!! Long time no blog. I have missed sitting to write. How I feel my soul has been needing to sit and let the words flow in pen and paper. Or, more accurately, finger tip and keyboard. And, friends, this song share is my […]

Flexibility Journey

If I had a bucket list of things I wanted to accomplish, something that would be at the top of it is becoming more flexible. I got this tattoo that says “dance” two years ago. While, looking back, I don’t think I’d get it again, […]

A God of UNComfort Zones

A God of UNComfort Zones

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Biblical merit for not being in “comfort” zones.
What is “comfort?”
The Word says that HE is my comfort (Jeremiah 8:18). So my ideal “comfort zone” is at His feet, in His arms, walking with Jesus. Equally, this means that we are often out of contrived and worldly “comfort” zones; the things that give temporary pleasure but don’t benefit our neighbours or His Kingdom; the things we may be conditioned to turn to in times of struggle or pain that “feel good,” but don’t have any Truth or power to actually help us or anyone.
So, my TRUE COMFORTER will take me out of FAKE COMFORT ZONES (I can list some of mine in my head right now– can you list yours?) and it might “feel” icky and uncomfortable; but since He’s the True Comforter, it will ALWAYS be good and right.
Maybe that is in the form of ridding rules and restrictions that you unhealthily have around areas of your life. They are habits that feel so comfortable; but on the basis of what truth? And who are they actually helping?
Maybe that is the form of less selfishness and more selflessness– going out of your way for other people; working with the Spirit of God to see those around you who need love, positivity, and hope.
Maybe that is in the form of asking questions, picking up your Bible, or praying. Checking out a church, or calling up an old friend.
Whatever it is, it starts with Him, in prayer and thought. He answers prayers, and He is with you in the uncomfortable change, ALWAYS. It is so often the things that seem scariest in life that end up being the things that He uses to save and redeem.
After I gave up food rules after years of stubborn eating disorders, I wrote this post
to put some words to the amazing process that Jesus had brought me through in healing. It didn’t come from striving. It was not my fault that I had these brutal mental illnesses, nor was it my choice to heal from them. It was, however, my choice to spend more time in the Word of God and with His Spirit– the Spirit that healed me.
Is Jesus calling your name and softening your heart to follow Him to a place that feels uncomfortable, and you just need to trust Him? 

What Is Exhaustion Without Purpose?

What Is Exhaustion Without Purpose?

All I can think about right now is hitting my pillow. I hate sounding dramatic, but my eyelids are so heavy and my whole body is exhausted from not stopping all day. And that could easily be for nothing. I could easily work this body […]