Here’s what they don’t tell you about eating disorders: They’re usually pretty innocent at first. An endeavour to “be healthier.” When my restrictive illness first developed when I was fifteen, I never would have considered that I might still be terrified of white flour and […]
Happy Wednesday my friends! A couple weekends ago, one of the last weekends of August, marked big changes in my life: it was the last weekend before Johnny moves to Winnipeg for the last time EVER, timed perfectly with our engagement party, hosted by one […]
…I have learned that I struggle.
I know that God knows that I love a good story. A self-titled (and, now, professionally titled) writer since I was eight years old, I see everything in life in stories. A good storyline complete with metaphors and compelling arch is what I appreciate most about movies and books. My love of stories is probably why I adore spontaneity and thrilling music and consider myself a hopeless romantic. It’s why I don’t summarize the beautiful way my fiance proposed in a matter of minutes, but have written it out in detail and still tell it with glassy eyes and a voice of wonder.
So, when something happens IRL that is utterly story-like, practically telling itself through its serendipity and ability to tell itself, and then comes to an end that makes it all NOT very worth telling… I struggle.
But it’s good that I struggle, because it’s brought me to an awareness of the fact that I easily see God in “the story” and assume it’s Him and assume His will before praying, actively seeking His will, and discerning.
And, what this really is, then, is me “playing God,” and taking His righteousness into my own hands.
For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 2 TIMOTHY 4:3-4
It is very easy for us to make this mistake and jump to conclusions as Christians who live in harmony with Jesus, and live for His will to be done in our lives. It is very easy to assume that, because something good and cool and happenstance has happened, the odds for the outcome of that happening are directly in my favour.
But really, rather than writing the rest of the story, I’m called to sit in His presence and rest.
He taught me this very tangibly when I first met Johnny. Boy meets girl that I didn’t force or forge and that took months of contentment in the Holy Spirit before anything happened. In those months leading up to Johnny and I actually talking, I might have presumed, through our classroom glances and mutual but unspoken affection, that we would have spoken sooner. In the books, it would have been a week into class.
But, MAN, am I ever grateful for God’s timing on that one.
Time and again, He has shown me where my love of storytelling is a gift for His glory, and where it could trip me up into playing God. And don’t get me wrong: God is in complete control, and allows all things that happen to happen– but the outcomes are not based on me and me alone. It is easy to be egotistical and assume that the odds are in the favour of my own dreams, because “God is on my side.”
The outcomes are always in my favour because God is on my side, absolutely. But those outcomes are far better chosen by Him than me. So the best thing we can do as followers is submit to THE Storyteller. He’s a pretty darn good One.
“Paradise.” That’s what my sister’s friend called my family cottage after just a few hours of exploring the grounds. “I’ve never been to a cottage like this.” Krystal, Johnny, and I exchanged satisfied glances; Aly was not wrong. Papineau Lake was not like most lakes, […]
The Procrastination Station.We’ve all been there. Itching to write, but finding our thumbs scrolling instead, our minds numb rather than busy. Staring at the mountain of laundry begging to be folded in order to free up the bedroom to look like something from a Pinterest […]
I have an unwavering, overwhelming, constant need to write.
I’ve had it since before I can remember.
When I was in fourth grade, my teacher entered a paper I wrote in a writing contest that I ended up winning. From that point forward, I was told my every English teacher that I should keep writing.
And this need to write hasn’t ceased… but my follow-through and actual time spent writing has.
I don’t blame anyone but myself, and relent my frustration toward one thing: technology.
So, I have some questions for you guys.
Do you feel guilty when you spend time consuming others’ creative content rather than creating yourself?
Do you push off “content creation” for relaxation? Or is content creation not on your radar?
Do you have goals and plans for your creative work? How do you prioritize those goals?
I have affirmation that part of my life’s work is meant to be in writing content that helps people. And while I don’t know exactly what that’s meant to look like, I simply keep trusting and walking in the plans God has for me.
Today was a day of errands all across the town.
I got my hair done for free by my beautiful friend Morgan to help her with her updo skills, went grocery shopping, and picked up my new glasses, all with the encouragements that make up #BellLetsTalk day ringing through my ears, while I thought, if these torturous illnesses exist and are people’s realities, we NEED to be talking about them.
And now I’m getting ready to do homework, but not without first sitting down to simply write.
And in the midst of confusion, of wondering more than ever “what the heck” I’m going to pursue in a career, and resting in Jesus, today of all days I know it’s ok to be confused, to be broken. It’s actually part of the calling.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Ps.147:3
I had just told myself university would not be the time for a boy. But God knew differently. I noticed Johnny Fulford the moment I sat down in my Tuesday afternoon “Public Faith and Theology” class. He was smilely, shy-looking, and downright handsome. When the […]