It is a common misconception that people with eating disorders hate food. The reality is quite the contrary. In most eating disorder sufferers, food is obsessed over, constantly thought about, and researched.In the depths of my disorder, I constantly baked and cooked high-fat, delicious dishes that I wouldn’t let my own tongue even nearly close to, but that I served with glee to those around me.
Frustrated is my word of choice. I am overwhelmingly frustrated. I’ve read every blog post about hypothalamic amenorrhea. I’ve spent months eating as much as my insides could take without exploding and remaining sedentary. Then I’ve tried adding in light exercise, eating high high fat […]
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.
Does anyone else write stories in their minds?
The place most conducive to “Story-Writing” in my thought-life is the cafe I work at, Smile Tiger.
I’ve never worked somewhere in my life in which the people are so compassionate and family-oriented, and the atmosphere is so cozy. The most loyal and true “Regular Customers” are here every day, and the quaint furniture is entirely irreplaceable.
This is why, as a writing-coffee-lover who has been doing both for many years, it is bittersweet for me to announce that I am leaving the coffee industry behind, as I have accepted a full time position as a writer at a multimedia marketing/design agency.
I will miss serving people. I will miss directly engaging with strangers. I will miss tidying the cafe and answering questions and toasting the yummiest, fluffiest bread and heating scones. This is the shortest job I have ever had, but it has certainly left its mark.
A conversation I had today with one of my co-workers here actually reminded me of what I am excited to share with you guys today. It is something from Scripture that has been on my heart for some time now.
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. PROVERBS 28:13
This is a topic I’ve been wrestling with the Holy Spirit with for several days now. It goes like this:
We often hide our sins, our shortcomings, our failures. Our wrongdoings. But I actually think this hiding is one of the worst things we could possibly do, and the reason why is revealed by this Proverb writer.
When we confess and repent of our sins, we will find… COMPASSION.
What? My God, my God… you have compassion for (*insert most horrible “secret sin” I have committed?)
My God’s answer is YES. Forgiveness is His Song, and Grace for His people is all that Jesus is. But He asks us to confess them. Reveal them.
The thing I have been wrestling with is the tendency of people in what we share/confess when we ask for prayer.
In “prayer requests,” we often ask for help with the things that are “easy” to admit. Healing for someone with cancer; help with an exam. It is by no means WRONG to ask for prayer for these things, but how often do we confess things like porn addiction, lusts, and greed, and ask for prayer and accountability? How often do we call out the nitty gritty details of our most “secret sins,” renounce them, and give them to God?
I believe that the devil works to keep us in fear of sharing our sins. In fear of judgement, rejection, or change. But something I have discovered is that, the moment we bring to light the thing that we were so afraid to share, comes joy and healing we never thought possible. Then comes some of the sweetest moments in life– because, after all, Christ’s strength is “made perfect in our weakness.”
I was reminded of this at work today because of that beautiful co-worker I mentioned, who welcomed conversation by asking me questions about some of the real “tough stuff,” without shying away from any of the details. This kind of vulnerability should be normalized. This kind of revelation of failures, met with nothing but love, should be welcomed.
Is there something you are struggling with that you are afraid to share with someone – or just with God – that you are maybe feeling like you need to? What is this discussion stirring up in you?
There is such beauty in authenticity. We can know God’s Truth all we want, and we can believe it – but that doesn’t mean our earthly experience is 24/7 joy. But KNOWING that there is a Living God who wants to make us more and more like His perfect Son daily… that is tons of motivation to repent of our sins.
Here’s what they don’t tell you about eating disorders: They’re usually pretty innocent at first. An endeavour to “be healthier.” When my restrictive illness first developed when I was fifteen, I never would have considered that I might still be terrified of white flour and […]
Raise your hand if you were a picky eater as a kid.
(I’m raising my hand).
I was the PICKIEST of the picky. I could count the number of foods I was happy eating on both hands (well, both hands if you’ll allow me to put “Halloween candy” on one finger). I hated meats besides plan hamburgers and chicken thigh. Sandwiches were a no-go. Sweets were ALWAYS a yes, and lunch was chicken noodle soup or a Nature Valley granola bar. Bananas and apples were disgusting.
It’s funny because bananas and apples are my favourite fruits now, I’m not a fan of chicken noodle or granola bars, and I love practically every meat. I’m always so intrigued by other childhoods and ways of eating, too!
Any way, today, as I hungrily wondered to make for lunch, I thought back to childhood me, and wondered if 8-year-old Cassie might have any good ideas.
So I came up with this omelette, inspired by her, but refined for an adult (“refined,” aka vegetables).
It was REALLY YUMMY. Reminded me of childhood.
Feel free to change up the vegetables, or throw in some cheese!
I forgot how much I like ketchup and eggs– this was a real treat.