faith, freedom, food

Tag: #eatingdisorderrecovery

The Almond Butter Lesson (From a Recovered Anorexia-Sufferer)

The Almond Butter Lesson (From a Recovered Anorexia-Sufferer)

If you know me in real life, you know that I absolutely adore nut butters. And if you’ve been in my kitchen in real life, you know that on a whole new level. I almost always have more than one type of nut or seed […]

Childhood Chicken Fried Rice

Childhood Chicken Fried Rice

Raise your hand if you were a picky eater as a kid. (I’m raising my hand). I was the PICKIEST of the picky. I could count the number of foods I was happy eating on both hands (well, both hands if you’ll allow me to […]

Stephanie Buttermore’s “All In” Journey: Why I am a Huge Fan of the Fitness YouTuber Eating 5000+ Calories per Day

Stephanie Buttermore’s “All In” Journey: Why I am a Huge Fan of the Fitness YouTuber Eating 5000+ Calories per Day

I knew I was a fan of Stephanie Buttermore the first time I ever watched one of her videos. Not only was it clear that she was a kind person, but it was clear that she was an all in kind of person.

I have a massive appreciation for the art of video editing, and Stephanie takes this to another level. Each one of her videos is crafted in such an accessible, viewer-friendly manner, and her speaking voice has such a pleasing ring to it. She doesn’t have hundreds of videos as many fitness YouTubers of her career length do, but it’s because each and every video is crafted with such intense excellence. All-in excellence.

Stephanie demonstrates this all in attitude in each one of her workout routines too. She doesn’t go half-in on anything she does– or at least, anything she puts out within her business. Her mindset is reflected in everything from her beautiful merchandise to her truly informative videos, ones I always learn a lot from in a concise manner.

So, when Stephanie announced that she was going “All In,” which for her meant eating about 5000 calories every single day (not counting them or measuring food or anything, but eating this amount because it’s been what she’s been hungry for), I wasn’t surprised, but was incredibly excited.

Stephanie explains the reasons behind her “All In” Journey more succinctly than I could, but, essentially, the diets and methods of eating that had previously consumed her way of eating have put her body in an energy deficit that has caused severe mental, physical, and emotional hunger. It also caused her to lose her period.

While it is easy for a person in this situation to believe that most of the hunger they feel is mental or emotional, leading them to believe that they should not consume food to the point of full satiety due to fear of weight gain, research proves that the physical hunger is likely the reason for the mental and emotional hunger in patients who have lost their period, or restricted food for long periods of time. Even if the person didn’t have an eating disorder, or wasn’t eating a “crazily” low amount of calories, but still actively restricted certain food groups, labelled certain foods as “off-limits,” or forced themselves to stop eating before full satiety, an energy deficit is present. The physical repercussions are very dangerous.

Stephanie is very popular on YouTube for her “Cheat Day” videos, in which she eats “everything she wants” in a day, which usually ends up amounting to something around 10,000 calories. She always emphasizes that she never eats past the point of discomfort– but, for most people with average appetites, this amount of food would likely be past that point. This is just one sign pointing to Stephanie’s energy deficit.

From Stephanie’s Instagram
And quotes from her boyfriend, also a fitness expert

Steph’s recent “All In” recap video has seen over one million views, and gained a lot of interest in the media.

Now, here is why I love what Stephanie is doing.

She has not let her former platform sway her from doing what she believes is right (even when it’s hard). Going from bikini-competitor leanness to gaining 30 plus pounds in a couple months in front of a large following could not have been easy, but Steph didn’t let that stop her from doing what she knew was right. In fact, showcasing this change, including ups and downs with body image and her mood, has been something she hasn’t shied away from. All that she has shared as been real and raw, and I have seen countless followers take insight from her story. She has helped people in the trenches of anorexia find motivation to recover. She has given people who have yo-yo dieted for years a vocabulary for understanding their hunger. She has put her health and wellness– mental and physical– above her aesthetic.

She has not positioned herself in any “niche”– she’s just a relatable human with incredible credentials. Boasting a B.A., M.S., and Ph.D., in medical sciences, biology, and more, Stephanie went from being a unique member of the fitness community as a passionate foodie, to simply going on the journey that was right for her in this time– and sharing it for the benefit of many. She isn’t in the “recovering from an eating disorder” niche, necessarily, which only makes her content more accessible, and might help someone in a similar position recognize that, just because they’re not dealing with an eating disorder doesn’t mean they don’t need to go “all in” simply because of restriction or dieting, two things society has convinced us are “normal.” Or maybe, like Steph, they’ve never fully recovered from an eating disorder, or given it the “all in” attitude it deserves.

She is eliminating the “cheat day” mindset, making a statement about the reality of our society’s skewed relationships with food. Many people in the fitness industry promote food restriction coupled with massive “cheat days.” Others promote fad diets, obsessive macro counting, labelling foods, etc. But, here is my question (and the common question of another of my favourite YouTubers): was obesity a thing before the billion-dollar weight loss industry was?

We all have naturally different appetites based on genetics, activity level, hormones, etc., and simply living according to these (not obsessively “intuitively eating” according to the trend of it, but just eating, a concept that is difficult to understand for many who have been rewired by the weight loss industry for years) is, wow, the best possible key to our health. It doesn’t make a weight loss guru any money, though.

I have worked in “healthy food” environments selling great products and with great menus with employees who, without even thinking about it, would write “Cheat Day Choices” on top of our baked good selections. Whether we realized it or not, much of our culture has been influenced into thinking that this is normal.

I underwent an incredible journey to healing in which I radically discovered just how amazing my body and mind are at knowing what they want and need. I also went through an “all in” journey in which I was eating at least 3000 calories a day just to feel somewhat satisfied.

If you relate to any of this content, or have any questions, feel free to reach out to me as a friend or helping hand.

Has “diet culture” influenced you in any way? Has this article debunked any of that for you? Let me know in the comments below.

My Ear Piercing Disaster, Redeemed.

My Ear Piercing Disaster, Redeemed.

Yup. I’m a 21 year old Canadian female and only just recently got my ears pierced. And then… un-pierced. And the whole debacle is what led to some leaps in my physical recovery from eating disorders, and a greater understanding of my personal identity. Excessive? […]

Your Faith Has Made You Well

Your Faith Has Made You Well

Jesus really doesn’t ask for much. Well, yes, when we follow Him we surrender our lives from purpose for dead and meaningless, withering worldly things to the eternal purpose of Jesus’ glorification, and this may certainly be seen as “much” if we don’t know Jesus […]

Nutty Granola Clusters

Nutty Granola Clusters

I have ALWAYS loved granola. I’d take it over any sort of cereal any day.
I have also always LOVED oats. There is definitely a pattern here ;).
This nutty granola is the perfect combo of sweet and salty, and pairs amazingly with my favourite, whole goat’s milk yogurt, topped on a bowl of oatmeal, or mixed into a hearty smoothie.
IMG_1783

Ingredients
1 cup crunchy peanut butter
3/4 cup rolled oats
1/3 cup frozen cherries, chopped
2 Tbsp pumpkin seeds
2 Tbsp sunflower seeds
2 Tbsp hemp seeds
2 Tbsp chia seeds
1/4 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1 tsp cinnamon
pinch salt
3 Tbsp honey
2 Tbsp melted coconut oil
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Method

  1. In small bowl, combine peanut butter, oats, cherries, all seeds, coconut, cinnamon and salt. Mix well with wooden spoon. Add honey, coconut oil, and vanilla and stir to combine.
  2. Press onto baking sheet covered with parchment paper at 300 degrees for 20-25 minutes, stirring once halfway through. Cool completely before breaking into granola “clusters.”
  3. Enjoy with yogurt, in a parfait, on ice cream, whatever you wish!
MOTIVATION MONDAY: Confused ? 

MOTIVATION MONDAY: Confused ? 

Confusion. I am confused as to where I am in this place of recovery from eating disorders. Whatever that word “recovery” means. I think that is very different in a worldly, doctorly context than it is in a Kingdomly one which is all I really […]

WHAT I ATE WEDNESDAY: Over My Head

WHAT I ATE WEDNESDAY: Over My Head

Welcome back to another blog post!I want not to get as personal, maybe, in these posts. I think this is on my heart as I have been in a struggling place and I want this blog to convey the Lord’s goodness and not be a […]

MY THOUGHTS THURSDAY: What if Our Eds Could Talk to Each Other?

MY THOUGHTS THURSDAY: What if Our Eds Could Talk to Each Other?

Today, I was thinking a lot about mental illnesses. And something crossed my mind for the first time.
If my Ana, and my cousin’s Ana, and Julia Grigorian’s Ana, let’s say, we’re all places in a room together, what they talk about? What would they have in common, and what would they disagree about?
I came to a few conclusions in thinking about this.
Firstly, I think they would plot how to best make us all miserable while convincing us that they like us and what what’s best for us. I think that’s definitely something all eds have in common.

In thinking about all this, I took these pictures today. I felt positive.
In thinking about all this, I took these pictures today. I felt positive.

Secondly, I think the eating disorders would agree that they hate feeling out of control. They stress and go on high alert when there is any stress or focus outside of them.
They would certainly agree that a smaller body is a better body, that the idea of gaining weight is terrifying, and that food is the enemy.
But what I think is crucial here is what these “people” would DISAGREE on– even, I think, fight about.
And that is… the food.
While for one Ana carbs may be the enemy, another may say it is the only macro they will consume. While some have rituals such as chopping food into tiny little pieces and eating as slowly as possible, others eat as quickly as possible. Some anas avoid liquids like the plague while others only consume liquids.
Some eds use the body as a focal point; some zero in on the stomach, while others on the thighs, and others on the arms.
My point here is to illustrate more clearly the misinterpretation that eating disorders are about the body and food. These eds would talk about these things and disagree and yell at each other and never come to an agreement. It would be quite scary for one ed patient to adopt another person’s ed rules.
Not only does this show that eating disorders cause a side effect of food focus and body criticism CAUSED by other stress, but it may help ed patients to reflect on just how trivial and stupid their disorders’ rules are.
Also, it made me realize how terrifying it would be to walk into a room full of Anas.
I’d want to kill them, but I think one of them might nudge me to a seat, and I might just end up sitting down with them to coffee with splenda with a fake smile on my face.