My best friend Maddie and I have often cried together about a certain little fear that likes to get us: the fear of not being married when we’re in heaven.

Marriage is forever…right? That vow that I took so seriously…take so seriously every single day…it’s forever, right?

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had the opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

Hebrews 11:13-16


What I’ve learned from praying about these worries and talking to Maddie, and my husband, about them, is this: before we even go to the Word to see what JESUS actually says about this matter, we need to have the attitude described here in the book of Hebrews. “Longing for a better country: a heavenly one. Feeling like strangers on Earth.” And we should be seeking to help our spouses have the same attitude, longing for Jesus and His Kingdom.

Of course, these verses don’t paint the whole picture. We are called to be part of bringing His Kingdom HERE, “on Earth as it is in Heaven.” We are called to be witnesses to the Gospel, but yes… to give our lives to Jesus, along with our spouses, as we are “one flesh.” So, our mindset going into the Word on this should be one of: “This is very secondary to your Kingdom, God. I trust that your ways are the best ways: the only ways.”

Now, to be a Jesus follower is to accept all of His teachings. Our humanity may find some of them difficult, but that just means there is more room for the Holy Spirit in us, so we pray for that more.

And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.”

Luke 20:34-36

The most amazing, profound relationship God has designed on Earth that reflects His love is found in marriage. But it was designed to be a glimpse of the relationship between Christ and His Church, a far, far more perfect and beautiful marriage.

Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exult and give Him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure” – for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.

Revelation 19:6-9

This glimpse of what is to come offered in the book of Revelation is far more perfect and beautiful than our minds could possibly fathom. But, oh, may the Church of Christ make itself ready. My conviction is that loving Jesus first is NOT done in worrying about the fact that marriage doesn’t exist in Heaven. That is certainly painful now, as I love my husband so very much, but the Word tells me that, in Heaven, all that will matter, to anyone, is Jesus Himself.

Picture this:
Will sunlight be needed in a place ruled and covered by the God who IS light?
Will hope in Jesus be needed in a place where everyone in sight is just gazing upon His face?
Will faith in His goodness and promises be needed when they are being lived in?
So then… will marriage, that was designed for the purpose of being a reflection of the love of Christ, be needed in a place where HE has been united with His Church forever?

If fearing Heaven is something that you have ever struggled with, I pray that you would seek Jesus and His Word on it today. That you would go to Him, trust Him, and find that He is everything you need. Let’s talk about it; we’re all human, after all! But let’s no longer fear what our CREATOR has already made perfect… let’s go out and live out the mission He’s brought us too. And if you’re married… united in love with your spouse.

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