Raise your hand if you struggle with feeling like your worth is in your productivity?(πŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈ<— me).
Part of the Christian’s calling is submitting to the Word of God as Truth. Christians believe that within the Bible are the keys to life; real Truths are found in the Scripture, everlasting Truth of our Maker, and not the superficial, temporary lies of the world.
So, what does Jesus say about being defined by productivity/what I do?
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is thatΒ bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 15:15

Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing.
Upon being convicted of this, I talked to Jesus and sat in His presence and have been, little by little, made aware of the “go-go-go” mentality that was slowly killing me, my energy, and my spirits.
And my life has recently, finally, been looking more like rest.
I’ve been spending most evenings at home, reading, even watching a little TV, spending much more time with friends, but also not feeling “guilty” for having some me time. Most importantly, I’ve given more space for time with Jesus.
And, naturally, time with Jesus has led to more healing.
So the fact that today looked like
-waking up slowly, spending some time in the Word and then in prayer,
-enjoying an unrushed breakfast with my friend and housemate Mary and some amazing conversation,
-cleaning the house together,
-slowly but surely making my way with Maddie to my workplace, Pure Kitchen, not to work but to study and write an essay (in record time, thanks to more rest and therefore focus),
-spending time talking to Maddie and my co-workers, too…
-going to the gym cuz I felt like it,
-sitting in a coffee shop to read and write and pray by myself cuz my soul craved it…
-wondering what I’m going to do in 10 years and letting my mind wander but then slowing down and sitting with Jesus and knowing He transcends time and doesn’t call me to know all these details but just to trust…
A day as breezy and slow and unplanned as this would have once caused me such anxiety. Lacking a strict to do list feels foreign.
Jesus has been teaching me what “righteous organization” looks like. And it’s good. It’s caused me to confront and reflect on some things in my soul I might have thought I wanted to ignore.
And I come back to this:
Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing.

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